Standing Up For Pickup

A PUA in 2018

It’s sad that more and more guys are shying away from calling themselves “pickup artists” and replacing the original purpose of the community with “settling down” into monogamy.

Bachelors are “reforming” into mushy “relationship strategists.” Players are becoming conservative and traditional, “doing the right thing” and sliding into idealism. Sexual adventures have been replaced by self help seminars.

Pickup artistry is about picking up girls. Sexual freedoms. Non-monogamous fun. Not moralising or shaming.

Look in the mirror and have the courage to say to yourself “I’m a pickup artist. I like having lots of casual sex with hot girls.” That’s a significant first step that was taken for granted when the community began.

Tom Torero Twitter

Come over to Myspace and let me Twitter all over your Facebook 😉


From 2015 to 2017 I had an active Twitter account for my daygame and dating musings. I’ve been getting emails asking about compiling the most popular tweets from the old account so I thought I’d make a start on here:


“What you concede to at the start of a relationship sets the tone for what you’ll put up with for the rest of it”


“Worst questions to ask her before hook point:

  • What’s your name?
  • Where are you from?
  • What do you do?
  • What are you up to?



“The more drama you cause and the more tears she sheds, the greater her attraction and addiction to you”


“If you’re not one of the chosen, become one of the choosers”


“People buy on emotion and justify with logic. Same for a girl’s sexual decision making”


“Her bar of expectation is incredibly low for bad boys but magnificently high for nice guys”


“Women are attracted to dangerous men. Not virtuous vanilla men who are safe. They long for the wild primal lion, not the nice guy pussycat”


“Cold approach pickup = the attempt to fuck hot girls.

‘Self Development’ = the attempt to do anything to avoid actually approaching girls”


“Cultivate a naughty twinkle in your eyes, a mischievous smirk with your mouth. Speaks louder than words”


“Assume familiarity: treat her like a puppy dog, a partner-in-crime or a bratty playmate. Not like a colleague, an interviewee or the queen”


“Girls fall for guys who don’t fall”


“Risk awkwardness. Boldness is always better than bashfulness”


“Many guys are freaking out about girls changing fast. Fear not. Biology wins. What men & women find attractive is ancient and hardwired”


“Verbal is the poor man’s non-verbal”


“The girl is your mirror”


“Nice Guy daygame & dating is self-sabotaging in that you don’t want to escalate because it will destroy the purity fantasy you have of her”


“Lover Rules:

  1. She can’t sleep over
  2. Only see her x1 a week
  3. Don’t text daily
  4. No public displays of affection
  5. Only sex, no dates”


“When she texts ‘Maybe’ it means no. Flake on her before she does”


“Don’t justify or explain yourself to a girl. Just because she asks you a question doesn’t mean you have to answer (or answer seriously)”


“18-21 year old girls are very easy to qualify. Ask her how tall she is, why she’s single, where she’s travelled, if she’s fun as well as cute”


“Many guys go on dates that are far too long and static. Set a time limit (mine is 90 minutes) and use two venues. Escalate and lead home”


Get off Tinder. There are younger, hotter girls wandering around the streets, stores, cafes, malls and parks of your city, horny and lonely”


“Girls want: babies, house, security

You want: hotties, 3sums, jet-skis

Don’t feel guilty about going for what you want. She doesn’t”


“Think of how it feels being around a masculine girl on a date. Now imagine how it feels as a girl being around a feminine guy”


“Cold approach is not ‘find the Yes Girl who likes me already.’ Expect girls to be sceptical. Expect to do the work. You stopped her. Step up”


“Just as men are wired to constantly scan for boobs and ass, women are wired to constantly scan for male power. Attraction is not a choice”


“Nice Guy tells: leans in, uptalk, breaks tension, rapport-seeking, available, passive, apologises, Friend Zones himself, agreeable, asexual”


“The more you talk to her, the greater the probability that you won’t fuck her”


“How To Fail: complain, be the victim, follow the herd, lack emotional control, procrastinate, lack gratitude, react, live in the past/future”


“Girls are shapeshifters, taking on the role that a guy’s frame presents. She’s malleable to being the lover or girlfriend/wife…you decide”


“Even making her angry is better than apathy. Be her drug dealer of emotions”


“Stop kidding yourself she’s ‘not that type of girl.’ It’s the shy, innocent ones that are the most repressed”


“She’s not different. Your situation is not different. The biological principles of Game are universal”


“Girls, like puppies or kids, are in the NOW. Their emotions dictate their decisions and can change rapidly. Make her FEEL, not think”


“Good text: ‘I’m thirsty, let’s go for drinks at 8, wear something summery ;)’

Bad text: ‘Hey what’s up? Are you free for a drink? 8 ok?”


“The best time to kiss her is mid-sentence, right as she’s talking”


“Walk down the street like you mean business. Chin up, shoulders back, taking up space, smirking like you know an inside joke”


“Things to playfully accuse her of: being bossy, naive, predatory, suspicious, jealous, ditsy or a princess”


“No beautiful woman is ever completely single. Get over it. Accept it”


‘Those who look hungry never get fed’…too eager, texting too much, getting emotional, pedestalising, these are the Nice Guy sins”


“The perfect accusation for a girl during an approach: call her ‘little’ – little trouble maker, little princess – she loves to feel small”


“As soon as she sees you as potential boyfriend material (because you’re successful, caring, fun etc) then she’ll put the breaks on fast sex”


“Girls don’t want ‘nice.’ Show them dominance, power, adventure, drama, leadership, fun and directness. ‘Nice’ makes them queasy”


“The downside to approaching her is small (blow out/flake), the upside is infinite (date, sex, relationship, improved skill & self-esteem)”


“‘Oh wow, yeah? That’s so interesting. Really? Great, me too!’

Welcome to the beta trap of Comfort Quicksand. Comfort is your enemy”


“‘Don’t chase them, replace them.’ New leads are better than trying to save lost ones”


“Playfully ACCUSE her: it’s the ultimate frame for attraction”


“Most people in monogamous relationships feel like it’s the best they can get. If they were assured of an upgrade, they would”


“Don’t let her mixed signals confuse you. The silence and indecision is a loud decision”


“Girls love foreign men in their city because of genetic opportunity. Guys hate foreign men in their city because of genetic competition”


“A huge part of Game is taking emotional accountability away from her. It can’t be ‘her fault.’ She has to feel like it ‘just happened'”


“Who controls the frame controls the interaction. Spend less time thinking of a good answer to her frame and more time setting your own frame”


“Great ping text for Sundays…

‘Been to church to confess your sins? ;)'”


“Game is just calibrated intent”


“Beginner daygame issue: fear of the approach (‘approach anxiety’)

Intermediate daygame issue: fear of escalation (‘hiding your dick’)”


“Start with the belief that women are sexual creatures that long to be submissive”


“Familiarity kills sexual tension”


“For your first 200 cold approaches, don’t micro-manage anything. Accept the awkwardness. Bite the bullet. The success is doing them”


“Me: ‘Why did you eject?’

Student: ‘She looked at me weird’

Expect girls to seem startled when you approach them. It’s an autopilot response”


“The secret sauce of pickup is…..qualification”


“‘Swing through the opener.’ Don’t pause…go straight into Stacking. At the start YOU have to do the work, not her”


“You’re in pickup to get laid with hot girls. No need to hide behind ‘self actualisation’ or ‘personal development’ masks. Own it”


“Follow the 1/3 rule for texting:

  • Take a 3rd longer to reply to her
  • Write a 3rd less than her
  • Be a 3rd less enthusiastic than her”


“The social hook point and the sexual hook point are different. Calibration gives you the answer”


“Pickup theory is neat, tidy, general, safe.

Infield action is messy, dirty, situation dependent, uncomfortable”


“Every time she leaves you she needs to be thinking if she’ll see you again, how much you like her and if you’re seeing other girls”


“The longer you wait to be bold with her, the harder it is to get away with”


“First one’s the worst one. Jump in”

Below The Belt: Kindle Edition

My latest book of daygame degeneracy is now available to download on your local Amazon Kindle store. 334 pages, 70,000 words, lifting the lid on Secret Society pleasure and pain across the world. Below The Belt is my filthiest, darkest book on my adventures so far.

Below The Belt Download – Amazon USA

Below The Belt Download – Amazon UK

For all other countries search your local Amazon store. 

Winter Black Sheep Awards

The final two Black Sheep Awards for 2018 will be given out on the 15th November so it’s the last chance to apply this year if you’re planning a daygame mission in another city and need help with your transport and accommodation costs.

Further details and the application form is here. Only two months to go before the year is out so it’s the final opportunity to get infield for some festive flirting.

Torero Lay Report: Real Talk

One of the recent new lays from my Russian daygame adventure last month stood out because of the amplified drama and tension involved. Holding the frame with straight talking is especially important in Russian seductions as this lay report shows.

I’d approached Olya in a shiny shopping mall around lunchtime early on in the trip. She was sitting down on a bench outside a store and lit up when I gave her a compliment. 22 years old, brunette, petite, I teased her about being elf-like and not having a job. She hooked and asked me to sit down next to her. Earlier in the day she’d had two interviews and was now killing time before another one in the evening.

I bounced her to a cafe upstairs in the mall for a coffee. Here began her interrogation of my backstory: Why was I in the city? For how long? What was my job? Why didn’t I speak Russian?

Rather than the usual cocky funny responses I’d give in other countries, I gave her brief enigmatic answers and then flipped things around by putting her in the interview seat: Why didn’t she have a job? Why was she single? Why had she moved to the city alone? 

Russian girls respond well to direct qualification. The Mr Nice Guy polite act will get you nowhere. Especially because I was over a decade and a half older than her she lapped up the real talk and was eager to please.

The bright Autumnal sunshine beamed through the mall roof. I suggested a walk in a nearby park, trying to stretch out the instant date as long as possible to save having to go through the common pattern of Russian flaking and subsequent date rearranging. She agreed to the walk so we headed outside.

Because I was new to the area, she took the reigns and lead me around her favourite parts of the park. I could feel my frame slipping as she resumed her interrogation: Why wasn’t I married? Did I have kids? Did I approach many girls in the mall? Once again I kept my answers short and tried putting the spotlight back on her.

It was now almost two hours after approaching her and the original momentum felt like it was stalling. Perhaps I was just her way of filling more time and there wasn’t going to be a follow up date. I made the decision to cut things short before she did and said I had to get “back to my job.” At the metro we parted.

For the next few days her texting was solid. She replied quickly and would send her own images back to my photo pings. I knew she was having interviews spread out during the day and free time in between.

Our next meeting was for “English tea” at a cafe in my area. After the drink I pointed out where I lived but she was insistent that we go for a walk in the opposite direction (normal in Russia – they know what entering a guy’s apartment is code for). Another two hour walk-and-talk later I dropped her off at the metro once again.

Was this going to lead anywhere or was she a dead end? She was showing herself to be a headstrong girl who liked snatching the frame and watching what I’d do to reclaim it. I’d used more real talk with her to maintain the male-female polarity and reaffirm my Boundaries On Bullshit. Yes, I was a naughty boy. Yes, the brain between my legs was more active than the brain inside my skull. Yes, I’d be inviting her over to my place for food and a movie in the near future.  She feigned shock but I could see that she loved the bluntness.

For the next few days she’d keep asking me to meet her to go for more walks, often in areas far from where I lived. I declined the requests and suggested other plans in my frame:

And there it was, the Russian bluntness on her part (“I won’t go to your house because our tea ends in sex”) and my response which didn’t back down (“I like sex”). Her reply of “I too” was the green light I needed to keep going.

After that she’d still try to get me to go on walks or meet her near her interviews but I’d still decline, leaving bigger and bigger gaps to reply. It was now an overt frame battle. She was revelling in the push-away.

Finally she cracked. She realised I wasn’t going to back down from my offer of a date at my place. A switch had flipped in her mind that she was coming over to fuck:

As icing on the cake I got her to comply further and invest by bringing me some of the Russian soup (borscht) she’d made at home.

And that was that. Over she came that evening in a tight leather skirt, black tights and heels and there was no Token LMR whatsoever. We didn’t even eat the food she’d brought. She sat on my knee as I put some music on the laptop, we made out and then I picked her up and dropped her onto the bed. The sex was the best of the whole daygame trip.

Now, I realise that the seductive dance is usually covert, not overt. It’s called the Secret Society for a good reason. However, if you want to crack the code of Russian daygame and dating then realise that blunt real talk is what gets the job done there, not pleasantries or witty banter. If you want to toughen up your frame and practise passing Shit Tests with ease then it’s a great country to game in.* Amplify the drama, embrace the tension. Hold the frame so she can relax into her femininity. Real talk indeed.


*My book “Cold Calling” goes into lots more detail about the specifics of daygame in Russia and the Former Soviet Union if you’re planning a trip.

Fisherman’s Tales

This blog and my material is solely about seducing girls as a pickup artist using the cold approach method of daygame. After more than a decade of data collection from daygamers across the globe there’s a clear consensus about ballpark statistics from open to close.

A blog about night game, online game or Tinder would have different data sets and expectations. I’m not knocking those ways to meet women, just reinforcing the point that those methods will have their own specific data and expertise.

I often get emails or comments like the following:

“Man that is a low number, 3 out of 100, sounds inefficient, from online and Tinder I get a new bang out of 10 or so matches and when I used to do day game it was easily a new lay from a handful of approaches”

For all I know this guy might be recounting real stats, but to infer general patterns from a small sample size of personal recollections is unhelpful for those embarking on a daygame quest.

Over the years I’ve made various videos and podcasts about realistic daygame statistics and what to expect on your own journey:

Realistic Daygame Statistics – how many approaches lead to sex?

Daygame Is Difficult – is street pickup the easiest way to get girls into bed?

PUA Marketing Spam vs Normal Expectations – what’s the magic pill?

Daygame Mission Summary – what can you expect on a daygame trip?

Quality Control – how hot are the girls you can pull from daygame?