15/05/2016 by Tom Torero
“We penetrated deeper and deeper into the heart of darkness” Joseph Conrad
I’ve spoken before about the “dark side of Game” in that to really master the art of daygame, pickup and seduction you must taste that darkness, dance with that darkness, but try not to be consumed by it.
Expert players know about the awesome potential power of the “dark arts” which is an aphrodisiac for girls. A grandiose ego, manipulative magic and a cold steely edge; these three traits are what psychologists call “Dark Triad” characteristics (narcissism, Machiavellianism & psychopathy). They’re like a magnet for girls in that they represent everything attractive about the “bad boy”:
- Adventure / danger
- Leading / escalating
Books and films know this dangerously seductive character well, often in the form of the brooding “anti-hero.” Think of Batman, Macbeth, Heathcliff, Bond, Scarface…girls want him and guys want to be him. We know why they’re attractive, but we’re afraid of delving too deeply into the darkness from where they came.
The greenhorn daygamer usually comes from the “Nice Guy” side of the spectrum. He displays the opposite of these traits – he’s sweet, caring, gentle, polite, shy, predictable and safe. Girls think of him as a brother and Friend Zone him.
The struggle for the new seducer is to open Pandora’s box and adopt elements of Dark Triad behaviours, whilst at the same time not becoming addicted to them. It’s a paradox because to get good at Game, you have to embrace the bad boy behaviours which will get you results, but then you don’t want to give them up for fear of losing the magnetism.
The many professional pickup artists I’ve met (myself included) all have amplified levels of Dark Triad traits and / or unstable backgrounds; depression, anxiety, bi-polar disorders, we’re every psychiatrist’s dream. Whilst it makes us effective at seducing girls, it also makes us difficult to spend time with.
I’ve done things I’m not proud of both with girls and in business. I’ve had wings and colleagues who’ve been similarly consumed by the dark side of Game to the point of being impossible to collaborate with. I have journeyed in the “heart of darkness” and stared into the void. Whilst it gets the girl, it can lose the friend.
Am I therefore preaching that pickup is an “impure” or “evil” thing that must be banished to save our souls? No, daygame and seduction is what it is. The attraction triggers are morally neutral, it is up to us how much we adopt them and let them consume us.
The Nice Guy has to take that journey up the river into the darkness as his initiation from boy to man. He must face the demons hiding in the dark corners of his psyche. Daygame is often the catalyst to him making deep, long-lasting changes. It’s like a modern day right-of-passage.
But the important disclaimer that should be highlighted to any new player? Monitor how the Dark Triad traits that Game amplifies are impacting on you. Listen to friends and wings when they tell you that you’re becoming unbalanced. Remember that a content, fulfilled life goes beyond daygame, dating and seduction.
Stand in the darkness, be comfortable with the darkness, but always remember that you are surrounded by light.