I emerged from my apartment in a central European city this morning to discover that almost all the girls and women on the pavement were carrying a flower. Further up the street I asked a guy selling roses from the back of a van what it was all about. “Day of the Woman!” he grinned, “business good!”
Google then gave me the full answer. Today was International Women’s Day across the world. In central Europe it’s become a mix of Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day all in one. Rather than ranting about it or making a video on it like I did on February 14th, I just inwardly chuckled to myself and used the topic for my morning ping texts to girls in my phone:
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I hate poems, let’s get drunk later ;)”
The responses were good. Some of the girls asked if I was going to buy them flowers, or why I wasn’t wishing them a happy Women’s Day. I replied with some Agree & Amplify, telling them I’d bring them teddies, roses, and a voucher for a McDonalds Happy Meal.
A 19 year old Ukrainian university student who I’d been seeing last year got back to me, saying she wanted to meet later after her classes. Before I went to meet her I called into Starbucks for a boost of caffeine. On the next table to me were a group of college girls giggling about all the soppy gifts that guys had given them. They showed photos to each other of the different gifts, laughing and trying to out-compete each other with the most desperate one.
Just before 7 I met up with the Ukrainian, skipped formalities and went straight back to the apartment (we’d been sleeping together last year so there wasn’t any game) where we had satisfyingly naughty sex, finished off with some Jack Daniels and me whipping her with my belt (her favourite thing of mine).
Lying in bed after sex she told me about the flowers she’d been given at university by many guys her age. She showed me texts from armies of sweet guys who were waiting in the wings. She told me about one guy in her class who’d she’d Friend Zoned two years ago but who was still showering her with coffee dates, gifts and attention (even though she’d told him she wasn’t interested). I explained to her why Bad Boys win sexually and why she’d end up marrying a Nice Guy provider when she was older. She’d not thought about it before and smiled.
I’d first dated and slept with her when she was 18 (I was 36 at the time). Her first boyfriend when she’d lost her virginity at 16 was a 39 year old man. She had no time for guys her age, saying they were “hopeless romantics and way too sweet.”
When she got back to her apartment, she sent me these messages:
I laughed about it as I jumped in the shower, but quickly this turned to feeling angry. Not at the florists, card companies and teddy bear manufacturers who churn out the gifts. Not even at the girls who accept them and then laugh about them with their female friends. But at the guys who fall for this shit. Or rather at their lack of education in real male-female dynamics.
If only men were taught the truths of inter-sexual biology by the time they finished school. The realities of the Sexual Market Place, the Secret Society, what women are really attracted to, the difference between lovers and providers and so on.
The anger switched to woe. It’s men who are the idealistic romantics on a day like today. If they didn’t buy into it then there wouldn’t be such a day. It’s depressing that more men don’t know the truths of evolutionary biology.
I downed the last of the beer and smiled again as I remembered a recent tweet I’d posted:
“Nice guys finish last. Awesome guys finish on her face.”