For an introduction to this “dirty thirty” series of blog posts for my new book Below The Belt, go here.
Victoria’s Secret – May 2017, Ukraine
It had been a tough reconnaissance trip to a second-tier Ukrainian city. The daygame had consisted of a lot of fast blowouts from very hot girls with a few numbers a day from short sets with little English. The dating was (as is typical in the Former Soviet Union) drawn out. Make outs were easy but fast sex was not. I discuss these typical Ukrainian problems in my book Cold Calling.
At the end of a particularly brutal number number farming session I made a short cut through a small mall to head back to my accommodation. A tall girl, brunette, hot with red lipstick walked past me and something in my gut told me to go for it, even though I’d mentally declared the session over because I was tired.
Pre-approach calibration is something that can’t be taught. It’s an instinct that develops from years infield, dating hundreds of girls and internalising the smallest of cues. As I discuss in this video, a daygamer shouldn’t just rely on opening “girls that seem up for it” or girls that give Indicators Of Interest (IOIs). But sometimes your spider sense tells you that you should definitely approach a certain girl, from a very primal place.
Perhaps it’s in her swaying strut, her tighter fitting clothes, her flushed cheeks – all of which might well indicate she’s ovulating. Maybe it’s in the hair flick she does subconsciously in your direction as you pass each other (an “Approach Invitation”). Perhaps it’s because your daygame-wired brain reminds you that she’s exactly like a girl you opened and slept with many years ago.
Anyway, back to the Lipstick Girl. I’d not clocked any IOI but my tired body found just enough energy to jog back and open her. She was startled and didn’t say much, which I wasn’t sure was because of her lack of English or her disinterest. Weak signals – a normal Former Soviet Union phenomena. I ploughed on, talking low and slow, all the while holding eye contact and stepping closer as I held her hand to introduce myself. She didn’t pull her hand away, telling me her name was Victoria.
Her English was actually excellent. She slowly warmed up and told me she was a scientist at a local university where she’d recently graduated (she was 22 or 23). I looked down at her hand to see a shiny wedding ring. “I’ve been married for three years” she said almost apologetically. “How’s it going – are you happy?” I asked. “Sometimes…” she replied, her eyes dilating slightly.
If there’s one thing you need to learn to read for Secret Society access it’s eyes. I can’t stress how much a girl’s eye contact tells you about what’s really going on. It’s something ancient and hardwired. Looking back there were other clues: she touched the silver ring I had on my forefinger and asked what it meant (a clear IOI). Later in the set she touched my anchor tattoo on my wrist and asked the symbolism (a blatant IOI). In my infield video product you can watch many girls touching either my rings, tattoos or bracelets in set or on dates. Who said peacocking doesn’t work?!
She was off to the gym and so the set wasn’t that long. I took her Whatsapp and suggested we have a drink one evening soon. She threw a spanner in the works and said she was off to Berlin with her husband in the next few days for a short holiday, but that she’d let me know if she could meet before she went. I left the set thinking it was 50/50 shot at the goal. Even with such strong IOIs in set, many times the bubble can burst and the number lead to a dead end.
Messaging was basic. She wasn’t a texter, as is normal in Ukraine. Short, functional answers, mostly about logistics. We worked out that we could meet two days later in the evening for a quick drink after her evening gym session. The date wasn’t anything to write home about, except for the final few minutes. We’d met in the same mall and gone for one beer at the rooftop bar. She’d sat opposite me and her conversational skills were like her texting. I’d gone and sat next to her to show her the photo stack on my phone but she’d not reciprocated any of the incidental touching or verbal escalation.
In my mind I chalked it up as a road-to-nowhere date. She had to be home in less than an hour and the date had actually felt like a step backwards from the sexual tension in the initial set. Ah well, in it to win it, another one bites the dust. A good daygamer can just smile and move on, knowing that there are more nos than yeses.
In the elevator from the bar back down to the mall ground floor we found ourselves alone as the doors closed. I suddenly felt that muscle-memory urge once again, pulling her into me by the loops on her jeans and making out with her mid sentence. She was into it straight away, with tongues, lip biting and sighing for all of the ten seconds it took until the lift doors opened on the lower floor. “See you after Berlin” she smiled as she headed off to her bus. “When are you back?” I shouted back. “Four days” she replied, vanishing into the crowd. It’s always the quiet ones!
Once again, I urge Nice Guys to sit up and take note. Just because a girl is “educated,” works in a university, is married and doesn’t say much does NOT mean she’s a “good girl.” Too many PUAs are roaming countries like Ukraine and Russia looking for their mythical snowflakes because of a Purity Fantasy. I made a video on this topic here.
For the next five days I went on another reconnaissance trip to a different Ukrainian city, all the while Victoria messaging me from Berlin, sending me photos of her visiting galleries, the Sex Museum and random selfies from bathrooms while her husband waited outside. Welcome to the Secret Society. I took a gamble and arranged my return trip to Kiev to make a detour via the city I’d met her in. Even though the texting seemed so on, I’d only been on one date with her and gotten a make-out. Neither are green lights for a lay in the Former Soviet Union.
I’d gotten the same AirBnB for one more night so had one shot at the goal. Victoria had returned from Berlin and was back at work, so we arranged to meet outside the mall at 6pm (she’d told her husband she was off to the gym for a couple of hours). I knew time was against us and that I had to get her straight back to the apartment, so before the date I went to the supermarket and got a random bag of groceries that I could turn up with. I explain this bounce back technique here.
Another key tell for predicting a lay is what the girl turns up to the date wearing. It’s not cut-and-dried but if she arrives in jeans, trainers, a jumper and other layers then she’s most likely not left the house to fuck. I was late to the mall to meet Victoria, but when I turned up I saw her standing there in a blue dress, small heels, hair down and makeup on. Things were looking good.
She followed my lead without question as we walked the ten minutes back from the mall to my apartment, making idle chit-chat about her holiday to Berlin to give both of us plausible deniability about what was going to happen. The first rule of the Secret Society is that you don’t talk about the Secret Society. Discretion is key. You don’t need to tell girls that you’re a member, you have to show them with your actions.
Back in the apartment we took off our shoes, I unpacked the fake shopping bag and gave her a tour of the apartment, still not escalating at all as the tension was so obvious. I pointed out the view from the bedroom window and suddenly things went from zero to a hundred. We were in each other’s arms, passionately making out as I dropped her on the bed and took out my dick. Without taking off her clothes I lifted up her dress, pulled her panties to the side and went inside her. She was a fantastic notch, with so much pent-up horniness, really loud and sexual.
After the lay we reclined on the bed and I asked her my typical post-sex questions (you’ve got a short window after the notch to get a girl to spit some truth from her hindbrain before her forebrain guards take over again). She said she knew what I wanted because of my eye contact in the mall. She only had sex with her husband once or twice a month, telling me she was naturally horny but her husband had got bored of sleeping with her. She admitted masturbating to me in Berlin at night when her husband was snoring next to her. She said I was the second guy she’d ever slept with (in Ukraine this might well be true).
Here ends today’s lesson. The key learning points for me were that:
- married girls are often more horny than single girls
- you should approach when your spider sense tells you to
- IOIs can be very subtle
- Quiet girls can be like pressure cookers
- just because a girl has a high IQ and is a scientist doesn’t mean she’s innocent
- you should escalate on weak signals
- the Secret Society is secret for a reason. Respect its rules