For an introduction to this “dirty thirty” series of blog posts for my new book Below The Belt, go here.
Bed Hopping – Summer-Winter 2014, Moscow
“What if she finds out you’re a player?”
“How do you hide the fact that you’re a pickup artist?”
“Won’t a girl get mad if she realises you’re sleeping with other girls?”
These are very common questions from guys who lack experience with girls. They’re coming from the Nice Guy mindset which has never learnt or internalised the two key principles of the Secret Society.
Like many aspects of Game, the truths about playing the field are counterintuitive. A seducer knows that girls will still sleep with you if you’re upfront about not being monogamous. She’ll actually get more turned on knowing that you’re desired by other women (pre-selection) and the jealousy she might feel will increase her attraction towards you.
She’ll happily have random, casual sex with a guy in the Secret Society and know he’s seeing other girls, as that’s one of the fundamental tenets of the society. But she won’t put up with it from her Nice Guy boyfriend as the frame he set from the start shows he’s not in on the secret.
This story from snowy Moscow in December of 2014 illustrates the point well. I’d gone back to the Russian capital to close some loops with girls from a trip months before. One was a hot Russian brunette that a former daygame wing of mine had put me in touch with (he’d fucked her a few times in London previously), telling me she knew all about pickup and daygame.
Between wings, girls are often keen to be shared (in threesomes, foursomes or just straight “referrals”). I describe some such incidents in this post. Information like this is mind-blowing to the naive Nice Guy who thinks all women are innocent monogamous angels. If you want to know the science behind why a girl would sleep with one or more men (who are friends) at the same time or soon after each other, read “Sperm Wars” by Robin Baker.
This particular daygame wing remembered he owed me a referral girl because I’d given him one of the girls I’d been sleeping with a few years previously so he could have a threesome. So he’d messaged this Moscow girl before my summer trip there to tell her I was coming.
I’d messaged Moscow girl on Facebook and she was up for meeting in a bar near the Kremlin. Our first date felt a bit like an interrogation. She walked into the bar looking hot, but accompanied by a female friend who she hadn’t mentioned she was bringing. Straight away I realised this was going to be a gigantic frame test as they interrogated me, KGB-style, about my job as a pickup coach and my experience with Russian girls.
It was clear that she’d watching most of my online videos and read up on me. There was a sexual vibe immediately – she was very feline – but I could tell she wanted to see if I was the real deal. The wing who had passed her onto me was also a lover-mode daygamer so she knew what she was letting herself in for. With her friend it was like good cop, bad cop between them. The friend would grill me suspiciously whilst Moscow girl enjoyed seeing how I answered with non-reactivity or cocky funny.
They were simultaneously shocked and stimulated by my lifestyle and love life. Each question they fired off wanted more and more detail about the debauchery. But I could see that the lay wasn’t going to happen with Moscow girl that night, as her friend was keen to go onto a club (her boyfriend included) so I knew that was my cue to bail.
Fast forward five months and I was back in the sub-zero capital, blanketed in snow. I’d been messaging Moscow girl so she knew I’d returned, and this time she came to the date alone. We had a cosy beer in a faux-Irish pub just off of Tverskaya Street and then the bounce back to my apartment was straightforward to get out of the cold and give her the small bar of British chocolate I’d brought over (just a token gesture to create plausible deniability for the final bounce). Make out – green light. Fooling around on the bed – green light…
“I still haven’t decided if I’m going to fuck you” she suddenly declared in true blunt Slavic princess style. “I really don’t want to be disappointed if you are not actually a good lover.”
Wine flowed and the music playlist unfolded as I stood behind her looking out onto the dark snowy street below. Neck kissing. Neck biting. Hair pulling. Clothes off and very physical sex; I remember her wanting to dominate things and me continually having to take back the reins. The cliche about Russian girls being ballerinas on the outside and bears on the inside is largely true – they’re often amazing in the sack but endlessly demand a strong frame from you.
The point of the lay report is not really the fact that we had sex, but to illustrate how open girls are to “sharing an alpha” rather than being stuck with one beta. If another male member of the Secret Society gives you a decent reference, she’ll be more than happy fool around with you for some no-strings fun. Remember – sharing is caring 😉