Desire vs Duty – Today, South America
I was going to publish something else today but this story just happened to me – first day, first lay in South America. It covers a key point that I was going to write about later in the series.
Last night I flew from London, landing here in South America around 4am local time. I spent most of the morning in a zombie state, trying to sleep in the apartment but spaced out about where I was and what the time was because of the jet lag and time difference.
Around 3pm I headed out to explore the local area and get my daygame bearings. Foot traffic was pretty quiet, even in the mall (I was too early) so after an hour or so I started walking back to my apartment. There’s a park lined with cafes and bars not far from where I live and I headed that way to look for coffee.
Outside of a shop selling waffles I saw a girl in a tight floral dress, red shoes and long brown hair. I’d only done a couple of opens prior to this and my vibe was very off because of the sleepiness, but she liked the approach, even though her English was almost zero. She was in her mid to late twenties and had just come from work at the airport. I used sign language to suggest going for a drink, and we bounced across the road to a bar….an English-themed pub for my sins.
She sat down first on a sofa, so I joined her sitting next to her. It was flirty from the start (I’m guessing she was in her ovulation window) with ankles then knees touching, her touching my tattoos, me touching her rings and bracelets. We used Google Translate (with the voice recognition function) to do the heavy lifting but the chit-chat was superfluous to the unspoken language beneath.
I found out she’d been single since October of last year, her family was in another city so she worked hard then went home to her small apartment every evening. I seeded a bounce back to mine by asking what kind of music she liked (salsa and flamenco) and what movies (horror).
The vibe was so on from the physicality that after one small beer I suggested “another one” and we walked out in the direction of my apartment. She asked where, and I told her we’d go back to mine to listen to music and try the local beers I’d bought earlier (thank god for my logistical preparations – bounce back beers are one of the first things I buy when I check in to new accommodation.
The apartment block security guard gave me a dirty look as I walked her in the door and up the stairs. In my apartment there was ten minutes of beer drinking, another ten of letting her mess around on Youtube, then a make out on the sofa, massage on the bed and finally sex.
The real point of recounting all of this is to highlight what she typed into Google translate as we were lying on the bed after our sweet love making. She said that was the fastest she’d ever had sex with a new guy (just under an hour), that she usually only slept with boyfriends (guys she knew from college or work), that many guys in her job at the airport (especially pilots) try to seduce her with offers of free shit, and that she went out from work today feeling like something fun was going to happen.
Herein lies the difference between sex based on lust versus negotiated sex. This is precisely a girl’s dual mating strategy that normal guys just don’t get. She fucks some guys out of desire (Secret Society lovers) and some out of duty (boyfriends, husbands).
If you’re the lover then:
- the sex happens fast – there’s no negotiating
- she doesn’t want you to buy her shit
- you don’t have to meet her family or friends
- neither asks about the other’s sex life
If you’re the boyfriend then:
- getting to sex usually takes a while
- she demands you’re monogamous
- you exchange giving her attention for sex
- she’ll want you to buy her things
- you have to act like a couple
Each guy is of course free to choose what kind of sexual relationship he wants to be in with a girl, but I’m very content with the freedom and flexibility that lover sex gives, especially when travelling and wanting to keep on picking up girls. I struck gold finding a horny girl, but I still had to do the approach, the i-date, the leading and the escalating. There’s no slacking in the Secret Society.