WAKEY WAKEY – SPRING 2014, BELGRADE
A common misconception is that because girls are automatically in the Secret Society and are just as down-n-dirty as guys are, they therefore must need sex as much as guys do. Whilst it’s true that girls can be nymphomaniacs, it’s not accurate to think that they’re all going around hunting lovers like men do.
Girls love sex, girls love orgasms, girls love domination – all correct. But they don’t need it all the time, with any guy that’s around. The fundamentally difference in male / female sexual strategies (sperm cheap / eggs expensive) means that for girls, they can put sex on hold in a dormancy phase until the right (alpha) guy comes along. And then they go crazy. It’s like a “feast-and-famine” strategy as opposed to a guy’s “always on” strategy.
This dormancy can be linked to her monthly cycle, where she’s only really horny for a few days of the month (usually around ovulation), her age, her stress levels and her life circumstances. Some girls are hornier than others, but many go long periods between intense windows of sexual activity.
A daygamer with good pre-approach calibration might be able to spot an ovulating girl through the classic signals (tighter clothes, swaying walk from the hips, flushed face, giving off IOIs) but it’s often hidden (there’s a clear evolutionary reason why females hide their ovulation window, in order to keep mates around). That sweet innocent looking”cultured” girl in the museum might be hiding the fact that she’s just entered a horny window in her life and is down to fuck. That “slutty” looking girl dancing on the stage in a club might be in her dormancy phase and not feeling sexual at all.
So what can a player do? He can do everything in his power to either find girls that are horny or learn (through tighter Game) to flick the switches inside her so she wakes up from the dormancy phase and is good to go.
The following story from the Spring of 2014 illustrates this well. I’d flown to Belgrade, the capital of Serbia, for my second daygame expedition there. I had arrived a few days ahead of my wing so I hit the streets to blow the cobwebs off my skills. Belgrade’s not a city for beginners. Even though the girls are stunning, the reactions are polarising, as I talk about in Torero Travels. You’ll get many fast blowouts if your frame isn’t strong and for a new guy that can be demoralising.
My first day infield there on that trip was brutal, I felt like I was starting from scratch. My vibe was flat and the consecutive blowouts were knocking me all over the place. A daygamer always starts to wonder “Have I lost the magic?!”
Approach number ten or eleven near the train station was on a tall slim girl, dark eyes and hair, classic Serbian. She looked like one of those skinny moody models on a billboard for H&M or Zara – melancholic and intense. At least she stopped and listened to my Opener and Stack after all those previous rejections. She was on her way home from work as a pharmacist and finally hooked after a bit more banter.
I instant dated her to a nearby coffee shop where I tried my best to get her to open up and invest, but she was pretty shy: 25, still living at home, a self-proclaimed introvert who had given up partying to read books and listen to obscure hipster bands that sang about sadness. She said she hadn’t dated a guy in two years.
I don’t remember much about the texting or first date (I don’t have notes on this story from three years ago) except she came back to my apartment below the fortress gardens and there was token LMR. She was more frigid than frigid, like a nun in a strip club, telling me she hadn’t had sex in a few years and that she’d decided for herself that she was “over guys.”
In Street Hustle I go through the different phases of a girl’s Sexual Market Value. After her Party Years (18-24) a girl has a nagging realisation that she’s got to switch from lovers to providers as she feels her fertility dwindling. This gets intense after the age of 30 where she goes on the hunt for marriage and stability. The Pharmacist Girl was fitting right into this timeline, now that she was in temporary hibernation after previous bad boy fun.
After that first date I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to thaw her out. She seemed pretty resolute with her hibernation decision. But I knew to listen to her actions, not her words (a Game fundamental). She’d come back to my apartment on the first date, we’d kissed, cuddled, and she was up for seeing me again. Game on.
The second date was a late afternoon adventure bubble to Belgrade fortress where we say on a grassy bank and shared a bottle of wine as we looked out onto the Danube river below. She played her melancholic music selection on her phone as we lay back, hugged and kissed. Was I slipping into romantic boyfriend box?
I knew the lay had to happen on that date otherwise the momentum would go and I’d be relegated from the lover archetype to a potential longer term partner. I reminded her I was leaving the city in a week’s time, I weaved in some DHV stories about reckless risk taking and adventure, and I spiked things up by sprinkling in some pre-lay dirty talk (see yesterday’s blog post).
From the grassy bank we crossed the road down to my apartment where the music and wine continued. Under the coat she was wearing she’d put on a black dress and floral lace-looking tights. That was the last signal I needed. I led her up to the loft bedroom and we fucked into the night. She was nervous and reserved at first, quiet like a mouse but wanting me to go harder and harder. It was bizarre but weirdly erotic.
After sex she told me she’d decided she was going to sleep with me when I’d kissed her on the first date. She’d gone home and felt her mojo returning, dressing up especially for the second date knowing that I’d try to fuck her. After that it was like I’d unleashed a tsunami of horniness. She wanted to see me every evening of that trip, coming over to get fucked on every surface of the apartment. I’ve got a distinct memory of smashing her as she bent over the dining room table and her looking down to see a copy of Matt Ridley’s The Red Queen (a classic book on the evolution of sexuality). Theory meeting practice!
She turned out to be one of the wildest girls of the year. On the last evening of my stay in the city she came over wearing a long coat and just suspenders underneath. When I moved on from Belgrade she’d message me constantly, asking to be fucked as she felt so up for it all the time and couldn’t get sex out of her mind. So here ends today’s lesson: girls can be as hungry and horny as guys, given the right conditions. It’s your job as a man in the Secret Society to unleash her mojo magic if it’s sleeping.