In any human interaction, one person is reacting more than the other. By reacting less than the girl you’re showing you’re holding the frame and are thus higher value.

Triggering a girl to react (and invest) more than you can be achieved in many ways:

On the street:

  • teasing
  • challenging
  • standing solid
  • speaking slowly
  • overcoming her shit tests
  • qualifying her (open questions /¬†stealth questions)
  • vacuuming¬†


Over text:

  • writing less than her
  • taking longer to respond
  • qualifying her
  • ignoring her threads / questions¬†
  • ghosting


On the date:

  • leaning back
  • slow body movements
  • looking away
  • challenging
  • qualifying
  • using a false disqualifier
  • overcoming her shit tests


Want to get a firm grip on all these frame tricks and techniques? Read my textbook Street Hustle to get the complete Torero Toolkit in hardback form.

8 thoughts on “Under-Reacting”

  1. Hello Tom. How is the best way to deal with conflict/confrontation/bullying? for example a guy will amog me or try to be-little me. If a girl is at the meeting point before a date and a man is talking to her, how do i intervene? How do i deal with a man coming into set and telling me to get lost. I have a hard time being put on the spot and People walk right over me. Even at work people make fun of me. I’ve improved my posture, voice tone, fashion and started working out, but people still see me as an easy target and put me down.

  2. Hello Tom, thanks a lot for your content, it’s amazing. I am a beginner and am facing a problem that most of the girls I meet on the street are not alone, they’re in a small group with other girl friends (mostly one) and I never approach, because I feel that it would first of all put her on spotlight in front of her friend and she’s likely to ignore me or reject giving me her number and also I would need at least five minutes of talking to this one girl while her friend will be left out of the conversation and that is awkward, I have no skills to talk to one girl let alone multiple girls. What should I do, is there a way to approach and avoid awkwardness? Should I talk to her friend too?

  3. Hi Tom, can you pls give examples of challenging especially over texts. Every time i challenge I come across as argumentative, rude and obnoxious. How can you challenge a girl without seeming to be losing the frame.

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