Where PUAs Go To Die

Many professional Pickup Artists vanish from the Game, hanging up their boots like retired baseball players. Why they quit and what happens to them is the subject of today’s article, inspired by an email I received a week or so ago:

“Hi Tom,

Just a quick question if I may. I admire the fact you don’t hide from being a PUA and don’t water things down. Why do so many coaches switch from pussy to self development or just turn their back on pickup altogether?

Keep rocking in the free world!


It’s an excellent question, and something I’ve thought a lot about. You can divide up the main reasons for PUA “retirement” into three categories:

  1. They get married / under-the-thumb and denounce the player life
  2. They cough the Red Pill back up and resort to Purple Pill ideology
  3. Boredom

Firstly, many former PUAs and players choose to “settle down” and get married. Despite not believing in monogamy myself, I don’t have a problem with guys doing this if they’ve spent years infield collecting notches and then decide they want kids. It’s not something I’m going to do but I understand a guy who’s 35+ and wants a genetic legacy.

This scenario is only a problem if a young, greenhorn guy with a couple of years of pickup experience suddenly finds “The One” and starts preaching how he’s “over pickup” and how “wrong” and “shallow” the player lifestyle is. He’s actually going through his first bout of serious Oneitis and trying to justify his emotional decision making by shaming the community from which he came.

Secondly there are many players who start off using pickup to get laid but who then freak out when they glimpse the true nature of male-female dynamics. Raw Red Pill truths are too much for them to handle, causing them to retreat back to the safety of being a “Life Coach.” They water down Red Pill to Purple Pill, hiding their actual intent behind pseudo-science, New Age Spirituality and other such masks.

Lastly there are many guys who start pickup blogs, podcasts and channels only to abandon them a couple of years down the line. They might still be single and leading the player lifestyle, but they’ve gotten bored of documenting it and realised that making money from it is a long slog. Some players might also experience pickup fatigue if they’ve been in the Game long enough and have accumulated sufficient notches. This is usually temporary as some “time off” is all it takes to get their horniness back.

In the past few years I’ve stated multiple times why I dislike “Self Development” and why I’ve got no plans of stopping pickup until at least 2030:

I answer the many questions about “settling down,” having kids and “manning up” in Part 3 of my “Black Sheep” series of blog posts from last year.

So fear not. I’ve got no plans for marriage, balancing my shakras or teaching yoga. This blog and my channel will remain about chasing tail, hustling on the road and not hiding my metaphorical dick all over the world.

11 thoughts on “Where PUAs Go To Die”

  1. Tom, massive value post there man. glad to see a non self-development watered-downed coach out there for a chance. I’m just a fan commenting, been follow your work for a long time and i’ve been daygaming casually. thanks to u & PUA and rsd, i’ve become non needy with hot chicks and transformed other areas in my life as well. Come to Sydney, Australia again bro and say hi.

  2. Yesss, The young Uncle TOM,
    So glad you are targeting before everything claps and feel apart, respecting the target you have and until that time you gonna do game and even more productively, the best thing i heart in the last 15 seconds. May the force be with you TOM boy, heaps of love from Melbourne Australia.

  3. Tom you read Sperm Wars so you know the truth. A real Alpha is supposed to have kids. Lots of them. He’s supposed to inseminate as much women as possible to make sure he has a legacy.
    Not having kids is what we call being a “biological failure”.

    1. A big misunderstanding. Biology doesn’t know or care about babies. Your only “role” is the act of sex – whether you ejaculate inside a condom or a girl is irrelevant as evolution is a blind process.

      1. So true, many guys get confused about this haha. Really a dad is a beta as he is a provider automatically. The real alpha is the guy who keeps banging loads of girls with no strings! Your body still thinks its spreading its seed. As you said biology doesnt care!

  4. Not only do some PUAs go all hippy and self helpy but they also become ultra conservative and religious saying casual sex is wrong and that girls who like it are sluts etc etc

  5. It is possible to have kids without marrying, and I think this is becoming more common over time as guys wake up and realize that marrying is a stupid way of getting into debt slavery with nothing of value proffered in return.

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