If you’ve done a lot of daygame and dating in Russia and the Former Soviet Union (FSU) then you’ll be aware of how the usual date model has to be tweaked there. In my book Cold Calling I give many case studies illustrating these differences.
Collecting phone numbers and setting up dates is usually not the issue, but battling through endgame to sex is. Russian girls have very strong frames (to test for strong male polarity) and in much of the FSU the Fast-Sex culture still isn’t the norm. Younger girls (18-21) are often also busy at university and working a side job so it’s a battle to get them out quickly.
In the last five years I’ve adapted my date model in Russia and the FSU to look something like this:
- First date as normal. Evening. Two venues, two drinks, verbal & physical escalation, going for the kiss, trying for the bounce (usually declined)
- Bridge date in a coffee shop. 30-45 minutes to roll off
- Third date walk in a park, then to a supermarket and back to mine for food / film. Escalate until Token LMR impassible
- Fourth date at mine to seal the deal only if I’ve seen clear progression on third date
Around 10% of the time you can get a girl back to yours on the first date and get the notch, but it’s not the norm. Around 50% of the time you can get the kiss and she might even come in to your apartment, but the Token LMR / ASD shutters come down and you find yourself over-escalating and thus seeming needy.
To counteract this, I now add in the Coffee Shop Bridge Date a few days after the first evening date to serve as the “Buddha” to the previous “Badass” escalation. It’s a cooling off period for rapport and normality, showing her you’re not only a horndog. It goes something like this:
- In the middle of the day, invite her to a coffee shop where you’re already there working on your laptop. Tell her it’s only for 30 minutes. Make her come to you, that’s very important
- Be calm and relaxed. Sit opposite her. No more escalation for now. Seem slightly distracted by your work and remind her that you’re busy
- Do some normal rapport building as you get her to invest and open up about her studies / life. Seed a next proper date by talking about food/films
- Finish your coffee, suddenly get up (or take a phone call) and say you have to get going. Kiss her briefly and leave.
This quick bridge dates serves multiple purposes. It is the “push” that neutralises the “pull” of the first date. It shows her that you’re not overly focussed on just her. It’s enigmatic and gets her hamster wheel spinning. It adds in the comfort that you skipped on the first date. And most importantly it lays down the train tracks for getting her to come out on the next date (which is going to be back at yours). Without the bridge date she might well flake after the first date because she senses you’re all pull-pull-pull.
NB: Remember that this is a model for Russian / FSU girls. If you’re in Western Europe, North America or Australia you should be going for the lay on the first date, using my classic model.