Loneliness Shared


Nighthawks – Edward Hopper, 1942

For daygame to work properly you need a big city with a high population density, the more pedestrian the better. Anything over a million people works well, but the magic really happens in the mega melting pot cities like London (9 million), New York City (8.5 million) or Tokyo (9 million). Conditions are just right for Secret Society liaisons – transience, anonymity and, above all, loneliness.

People naturally associate the idea of being lonely as a bad thing. A Street Hustler knows different. When girls are in these big cities as students, tourists, runaways or passing through passengers then there are optimal daygame opportunities. Single people have less of a plan, they amble, they daydream and wander. A dreamy girl alone in a cafe is far more likely to be open to a spontaneous adventure with a cheeky cad than an office girl rushing around on a mission.

Loneliness lets a girl feel free and away from the prying eyes of her family and friends. She can indulge in Secret Society pleasures and fantasies without worrying who’s watching. Likewise, the lonely daygamer who’s landed in a strange new city all by himself has nothing to lose and everything to gain from talking to strangers.

My favourite artist is Edward Hopper, a former resident of Washington Square in New York City and notorious for capturing on canvas this very quality of melancholic city isolation which has beauty to it. The loneliness within stills the senses and sharpens the experiences to cinematic proportions.

As a daygamer, embrace this feeling. It’s the key to unlocking a city’sย guilty pleasures.

14 thoughts on “Loneliness Shared”

  1. Funny you should mention Hopper. When I saw the infield pickup of you with the girl on the bench in Washington Square Park I thought of Hopper’s studio which is across the street. I went to college in NYU


  2. Tom, I am going to study next year. I have two options (X & Y) , both very similar but I like one (X) just a bit more. However, X is in a very small, shithole city. Y is in a bigger city. I am really struggling with the decision. I want to learn daygame but in X’s city it is nearly impossible.. I also want to choose the study I like the most and not put pussy over my studies but I also want to learn daygame. What would be your advice?


    1. If I could go back in time to choose a university/college I’d go to the biggest city possible. You’ll never have an opportunity like it again to be social and get laid from warm approaches around campus. In ten years time you won’t even remember what you studied, but you will remember the girls you banged ๐Ÿ˜‰


      1. But aren’t you already chosen one of the biggest city which you’ve mentioned above, Tom?


    2. Why do you want to learn daygame? You are going to college, which is literally the best time of your life for social circle game, and WAY easier to get laid from than daygame. Guys are getting laid in college in the smallest, shittiest cities around.


      1. Warm approaching is ok but it’s a limited pool of girls. Doing cold approach pickup toughens you up, teaches you Game principles and lets you shoot at better quality.


    1. Paris is relatively small – 2.2 mill – smaller than Rome or Madrid. Tom writes about it in his first two books I think.


      1. Paris is 10 millions with a lot of people from suburbs going to the center city to work


  3. Jimmy, where did you get that data from?? Google Paris population. It is much smaller than 10 million


      1. So New York agglomeration is 22 million and Tokyo 40 million. Paris is still tiny haha


  4. There was this 18yo girl sitting on a bench, i would say she’s a strong maybe girl. She was a little bit cautious her dad & mom watching her (implied they’re strict parents cause she’s from rich family),i told her to call me some more while her parents standing far, i should’ve close earlier? Tom


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