Becoming A Fuckboy

becoming a fuckboy


“I’ll call you again when I’m back in February,” I smiled at Celia as I put on my coat at her front door, ready to face the snowy December evening outside.

“Congratulations,” she shot back with faux indignation. “You’re now officially a fuckboy Tom.” We kissed once more and then the door closed behind me as I walked out into the Paris night.

On the train home I Googled the term “fuckboy”:

“A man who sleeps with women with no intention of dating them”

Synonyms: asshole, horny prick, douchebag, jock, chach

Some men want to send rockets to space, others want to win an Olympic gold. I’ll take the badge of being a fuckboy.

In December last year during my hibernation period away from cold approach daygame and my distractions with the documentary editing I went on short trips to see four girls that I’d already got the notch with earlier in the year. All of them are aware that I’m not wanting a relationship and that the sex with me is casual. Two of them read this blog.

There’s Celia, a girl in Paris whose husband works away as airline cabin crew. Then there’s Victoria, a girl in Poland who is in a long distance relationship with a guy in Spain. There’s also Maria, a Ukrainian living in London who’s spinning more plates than me. And finally Sylwia, another Polish girl who tells me she’s “kind of serious” with a guy at her university.

Going from girl to girl in just a few days, I felt like a call-out tradesman visiting each one to service them. It was comical, like an old movie with Charlie Chaplin appearing and disappearing in and out of opening and closing doors.

I found an article on a womens’ gossip magazine webpage called “15 Signs You’re Dating a Fuckboy” written with the purpose of warning girls about ‘fuckboyism’. Here are some of those signs, which every pickup artist should nod and smile at as he reads them…

  1. He asks you to hang out but doesn’t text you to follow up
  2. He uses phrases like “keep me posted” and “let’s stay in touch” when you invite him to come out
  3. His friends don’t seem to know who you are
  4. He’ll disappear for a few days without you hearing from him
  5. When other guys flirt with you in front of him he seems totally unfazed
  6. He’s always texting people when you’re together
  7. He won’t respond to you during the prime dating hours of 7-11pm
  8. He’s never initiated taking a picture with you

So there you have it. Your mother is going to be so proud when you tell her that your New Year’s Resolution is to become a fuckboy rather than a Nobel Prize winning author or an upstanding member of your local church group.

14 thoughts on “Becoming A Fuckboy”

  1. Here’s a novel strategy to get a girl to place you in the fuckboy box.

    Once you understand that girls generally resist whats offered to them. You can use this to your advantage.

    Pretend to act like you want a relationship while fucking her well. She will eventually pull back and be the first to call out not wanting a relationship. At this stage, you can nod in agreement and proceed seeing her casually.

    The beauty of this strategy is she will never be able to place blame on you if she ever develops feelings and eventually wants more, which she inevitably will.

    For this to work however, you must ensure that you fuck her well.

    1. Playing the boyfriend role is a slippery slope towards Mr Needy and turning her off, so not a strategy I’d recommend haha. Don’t send mixed signals – girls know if you’re the lover or the boyfriend.

      1. haha Noted. I guess my message is. If you manage to beta slide, don’t panic. You can recover by not reacting and acting butt hurt. It’s an optimal place to be in if she only see’s you as casual fun.

        The irony of getting into a successful relationship (for those inclined) is to not want it as it needs to be their idea.

    1. Married women are the best for having long term affairs as they have a provider (their husband) and come to you just for sex (as the lover) so it’s win-win 😉

  2. Interesting: several times when girls have referenced “fuckboys” when talking to me, and I asked them to elaborate, they told me about “geordie shore” guys. They meant guys who were more concerned with their appearance. Ones who ended up actually being feminine. I would say that list and the article itself (but this is only wording), describes the jock (or “jerkboy” as we might know him).

    1. I’ve noticed clothes and style play a huge role as well and differs from the type of girl and location you’re targeting. Essex girls for example tend to go for a certain look, that since i’ve started to emulate is giving me a lot more success.

      So I would say figure out what type of girl you want, then figure out what their idea of a fuckboy would look like.

    2. Nah, Tom’s definition is correct. A fuckboy is just a modern word for a player. Women have always loved the bad boy but tell everyone they hate him for it 😉

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