Pick Up The Pieces


I’m in Japan at the end of my daygame mission here with Tim reflecting on the highs and lows of the last two weeks. What can you do when a daygame trip seems to be going wrong?

Leave any questions you’ve got for next week’s Q&A episode below

12 thoughts on “Pick Up The Pieces”

  1. Tom,

    Have had a recurring scenario I’d like your thoughts on:
    A girl I’ve seen on dates a few times and escalated on (e.g. reciprocated heavy kissing and body touching) but not banged suddenly sends me a paragraph-long text after a few days of silence about how things are “not working out” and “we shouldn’t see each other anymore”.

    Do you think this is a sign you’ve been too provider-like or that you’ve been too “on” that she’s getting cold feet? Is there any way to respond to a situation like that or is it definitely a lost cause?

    Cheers, and thanks for the inspiration! Started after seeing you at your London meetup in August, and 2 daygame notches down so far. Looking forward to dirty seminar next month.

  2. Hey Tom!

    I have a few questions regarding dates.

    1) Can you expand on how to “seed the pull” during a conversation on a date. At what point during the date do we mention the “coffee/tea/drink or guitar” we have at home. Before or after we have started verbally and physically escalating ?

    2) When staying in a stable location (i.e. our home city) is it better to use a two date model ? I’ve read that it’s best to verbally and physically escalate on the date but to save the kiss for the apartment because she will not come on a second date if you kissed on the first and and she wasn’t ready for the pull.

    3) Does us living with roommates trigger a girl’s LMR more than if a guy is simply living alone ? If so how can we make her feel more relaxed ?

  3. (1) In Russia there is a perceived shortage of men, which I’m assuming is a belief that has persisted since the time when millions of Russian men were killed in WWII. Why is it that Russian women insist on using a long-term mating strategy instead of shifting towards the man’s strategy, as observed in the hook-up culture at universities where women outnumber men.

    (2) You say that the very masculine and very feminine attract. If a large hairy masculine man mates with a small feminine women, the child should either be a boy that is less masculine that his father or a girl that is less feminine than her mother. Will this cause a march to the middle, or am I lacking something fundamental in my understanding of genetics?

    (3) Cheap travel, contraception, mobile phones, etc make it possible to live a player lifestyle that was not possible even 50 years ago. What are the mental and physical risks of living a life we were not evolved to live? This question has nothing to do with morals or STDs. Instead, it’s more along the lines of the recent understanding that stuffing your face with empty carbohydrates can cause diabetes.

  4. Haha I really enjoyed listening to this, gave me flashbacks.

    My wing and I are just recently back from a 2 week jaunt to Tokyo and thought it would be easy.. oh how wrong we could be.

    We were on a verge of a mental breakdown, constant blowouts, it was savage. Felt like the hardest place I had been.

    Happy to say I pulled some results out of the bag though. What an adventure in the end.

  5. Hi Tom! I’m a guy from Italy, almost 21 and I’m still a virgin. I’ve been daygaming for about a year and three months.
    These are three questions:
    – How can I be ready for my first lay?
    – How can I bounce to her place?
    – How to actually start having sex

    P.S.: I’ve started seeing results I would have never expected! Thanks for all your help Tom! ;D

  6. Hi Tom,

    Inspirational output as always and I have just picked up today, my hard copy of “Below The Belt”, which I am greatly looking forward to reading.

    On to my question, or perhaps more, my sticking point. I understand this to be a sticking point for many, namely getting addicted to the attraction phase. I have a horrible number flake rate. I can open, stack, vibe, the girl hooks and I number close but I feel sure that I’m not grounding sufficiently, vacuuming and getting the girl to qualify herself. I suspect this to be the cause of my flake rate (having recorded my interactions). I have no problem in spiking and have pulled the trigger on a number of occasions, when logistics are right, to get same day lays but struggle to convert numbers to dates. I suspect I have got into bad “dancing monkey” habits as I’m very outgoing but have trouble “dialling it down”. Deep down inside I have trouble believing that if I just shut up, it will make the interaction and number solid.

    I will submit a small sample of recorded interactions in due course, for your professional fee paid advice, but I wonder if in the meantime, you could expand upon this area.

    Many thanks in advance,


  7. Cheers Tom,

    – any indicators to filter time wasters/attention bitches/dead ends on text and when to drop them? Like after flaking 2 times or not replying 2 times.

    – on the street. if the stop and breaking momentum doesnt work should you continue walking with the girl and try a 2nd time? or in a set if she says she is in a hurry but offers you to walk with her should you engage?

    Keep up the good work and best Regards,

    Karl from berlin

  8. What’s your feelings towards the whole “red pill manosphere” stuff. I know you keep your distance but do you think it’s helpful for a player to read it? Cheers from Toronto!

  9. Hi Tom from Norway. I wanted to ask you how you became a coach.

    Is it ok that I no longer do day game but still coach men what I learned when I was doing it or should a coach always be single?

    I hope to see you again in Oslo.

  10. To be good at daygame, I should master frame control and be dominant. How can I learn to be better at frame control?

    I know how to pass frame test (ignore, agree& amplify) but I want to impose my frame at the beginning of an interaction with a girl. Because, here in France (and I think it’s the same in others western countries), girls are so good to see them as the prices straight from the beginning.

    Is there a “super frame” to counter or to absorb this “price frame” straight from the beginning?

  11. Hi Tom,

    Any thoughts on how to pick up uni girls as a 31 one year old? I live right by the campus so sometimes feel the spotlight effect doing daygame, since I don’t go to school there. If they ask what I’m doing there, I just come up with a lie and carry on.

    Thanks man.

  12. Question:
    All great artists/athletes have a period of “career best form” where they are completely in the zone and everything they touch turns to gold. What’s been your best month/period in terms of runs of lays and overall killer vibe? Can you attribute it to a particular factor or was it just one of those things that happens?

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