Harem Hustle #1: The Funnel


Building a harem of women (multiple non-monogamous sexual relationships) is an advanced daygamer skill in that you’re going to have to first meet, date and seduce multiple women. You’re then going to have to keep the plates spinning over time.

Think of the building process like a classic sales funnel:


First you’re going to be gathering live leads into the funnel through daygame prospecting. A small percentage of girls will accept or reject your offer immediately, but many will be in the “maybe” group of wanting to see more of what you’re about. This is where the game is played.

Daygame is literally cold calling. You are the product you’re offering. So you’ll want to improve that product as best you can but also effectively sell it on the market. Giving a girl a compliment on the street is not enough – you have to back it up with pickup skills (charisma, charm, wit, dominance, leading etc).

A percentage of these prospects will hook and give you their contact details. Think of them as qualified leads in that they’ve expressed interest in your product (you) and might be interested in taking things further.



Those qualified leads are now sitting in your phone as new contacts. It’s your job to take them further through the funnel process to convert the leads to dates, sex and beyond.

You’ll be working the leads in your phone (with ping messages) whilst at the same time getting back out there and continuing prospecting new leads for the funnel.

Taking a girl on a date (or two) is your chance to close a lead. It’s no longer about effective marketing (the initial daygame) but about making a sale. That’s what dating is all about – building compliance momentum through the right proposals and pitches in order to close fully (sex).

The complete sales funnel (from opening her on the street to closing her in the bedroom) typically takes one to two weeks if you factor in initial texting, a first date and then a second date. In countries like Russia it might take even longer.

The approximate drop-off at each stage of the sales funnel is statistically known in daygame. For an upper intermediate hustler the following percentages might well apply:


33% Open->Contact Details (1 in 3 girls will give you their details)

20% Contact Details->Date (1 in 5 qualified leads will come out on a date)

33% Date->Sex (1 in 3 of the dates ends in sex)


This works out as having to prospect between 40 and 50 girls to end up with one new sale. An advanced daygamer might improve on the funnel efficiency even further so he only needs to prospect 30 to 40 girls for a full close.

Building a harem is about one step beyond the standard daygame funnel. Lead retention means sleeping with a girl more than once in “lover” rather than “boyfriend” mode. The ongoing value that you’re offering is regarding Secret Society sex rather than provider investment.

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In Part 2 of this series I’ll go into details about the stages of the funnel from open to close and then onto retention in a harem.

9 thoughts on “Harem Hustle #1: The Funnel”

  1. Brilliant analogy. As a marketer I’ve often thought the same. A few years back I remember you did a video on this from Poland (?) with sticky notes, is that still up by any chance?

    Happy lead conversion Tom 😀

  2. Just to say i enjoyed the Dirty Trick seminar alot. Im impressed with all your new ideas all the time from the field. I wanted to meet u and Mystery in Russia last year but i missed out grrr.

  3. Yeah, a few times I’ve noted the results from 100 approaches to get an even percentage of what’s going on.
    I think 1 in 3 works when you’re comfortable with what you’re doing, so I think this model is fairly accurate.

  4. Hi Tom…great content as usual, think I’m really going to love this harem series this year. I’ve read Pimp by Iceberg Slim, a book I’ve always wanted to but only got around to it when you recommended it in an earlier youtube video. So thanks for that. Since discovering your vid on The Beginners Guide to Daygame I’ve been putting it into practice whenever possible and getting success…albeit most numbers flake, I don’t care. ..loving the chase and the ‘art’ form….also I have a steady flow of regulars from the likes tinder and bumble ( don’t hate me for using apps lol) so I’m not fussed by any rejection.
    Anyway…back to harem talk… about two years ago I had a harem of 5 regular girls..and a good mix too, English girls, an Indian girl and Chinese girl, and the best thing was that the girls KNEW I was seeing the others. .In fact they even knew them by name because I would talk openly about them. Furthermore…and this is where it gets good, two of the girls were bi-curious..so naturally the next logical step was to introduce them to each other. They met for one on one coffee date first to see if there was chemistry etc. which the evidently was because within a couple of weeks we had an amazing FFM experience. This is what most guys only dream of, yes you can say I’m reasonably good looking with a naughty smile but so are a lot of guys, no I’ll say it only happened because of my direct, open honesty I had with the girls.
    I will end with this point, it’s fair to say that as you are spinning a few plates yourself. .It is very possible the girls are too…and that is absolutely fine. .girls in my harem were very open about this too and all were occasionally dating other guys. I had zero problem with this in fact I encouraged it…that way there is no pressure on you to be everywhere at once trying to satisfy all the girls.
    I don’t know how some guys can tottally freak out at this…They can see multiple women but if the girl is seeing more than one guy he loses his shit. …makes no sense!
    Anyway thanks for the great vids and podcasts Tom. Keep them coming.
    Btw guys I’m 45..have two kids.. limited free time and zero money in the bank..but I’m still pulling girls in thier 20s to 40s..still doing the Hustle and will be till the day I die. Peace out.

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