Harem Hustle #3: Working The Leads

Read Part 1 and Part 2 of the Harem Hustle Series so far


If you’re going to daygame to collect leads you have to accept that just like in other cold calling sales funnels, dead-ends are more common than closing deals.

From the qualified leads gained in your street hustle prospecting, around 75% of them won’t result in a date and a chance to take things further. Consider the following realistic statistics:

Half of the contact details you collect from girls don’t even reply. Half of the ones that do reply don’t come out on a date.

That leaves you with 20-25% (around 1-in-5 to 1-in-4) of qualified leads coming out on a first date. That doesn’t mean all of those end in sex, but at least it’s a chance for the customer (her) to take a detailed look at the product (you) and to be sold to.

Just like in any other sales funnel, tracking your results is a key part of lead management. I use the iPhone app “New Digits” to keep track of the leads in my phone, along with notes I make in a weekly spreadsheet. Key things you need to know include:

  • When and where you acquired the lead
  • Her name, age and a description that will jog your memory
  • Any specific details from the interaction that will help setting up the date


There’s skill in working the leads of course. Desperate needy messaging vs cocky flirty messaging. As a daygamer you’re going to have to get good at pinging the girls (with standard messages, photo pings and audio pings):


As with other cold calling lead conversion, the classic telesales techniques are used in daygame harem building over messages:

  • Getting their attention (witty pings not Nice Guy questions)
  • Offering an incentive (quirky cocktails, shisha etc)
  • False choices (Tuesday or Thursday? Wine or beer?)
  • Use of time limits (say you’re off on holiday after the weekend)
  • Leading not asking (Meet me at 8pm by the statue)
  • Follow up weaker leads (Resurrection Texts)


Lots of the messages you can Copy-Paste from girl to girl but it still takes a lot of time. Let’s say you’ve gotten 30 numbers from 100 approaches. That’s 30 girls you’ll need to be messaging. Set aside a time to do this (I do it over breakfast and dinner).

The aim is to get any one girl out on a first date within a week of acquiring the lead. Any longer than that and it’s likely drop off your air traffic control radar. She’ll be snapped up by another hustler or the momentum will die. Long game (pinging for weeks or even months) is an option but it’s inherently needy, coming from a place of scarcity.

A beginner daygamer with few active leads and reference experiences will be overly focussed on one specific girl he’s trying to convert to a date. Scarcity is a dangerous thing, as again it reeks of desperation. As the old saying goes, “don’t chase them, replace them.”

There are a million reasons why any one lead might flake. You’ve got to get over chasing certain girls:

*   *   *   *   *

Tomorrow I’ll talk about a critical part of the harem funnel: closing the leads through the sales skills of dating. Once the sex is out the way you can really start getting her into your rotation.

If you’d like to know more about working leads with text game then check out my A-Z daygame textbook Street Hustle.

3 thoughts on “Harem Hustle #3: Working The Leads”

  1. Great to see your still going Tom. Believe it or not I saw you talk at the Daygame Blueprint in 2011 I think. Hard to believe that eight years has passed. I was in a relationship for 3 of those years but still out hitting the streets. Thanks for all the content and looking forward to this harem documentary project you spoke of on the podcast.

  2. Love the Harem Hustle series Tom!

    I am looking forward to putting this into practice one I return from my daygame hiatus back in the summer spring season.

    One question. Are you still accepting submissions for the Daygame Diagnosis podcasts ?

    Even though I’m on a break from daygame I’ll get out there and record some audio infields if there is a chance for it to be analyzed on a future podcast.

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