Embrace Discomfort

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding”

Why should we actively seek out the pain of cold approach pickup? What does all the discomfort of rejections, flakes and blue balls have to do with freedom and happiness?

This week’s daygame podcast looks at the positive effects of discomfort in your pickup and your wider life. I talk about this year’s Black Sheep Bandit van tour and ask for suggestions for the forthcoming book.

Leave any Black Sheep questions or comments below and the best one will win a t-shirt 🙂

10 thoughts on “Embrace Discomfort”

  1. Hey Tom,

    For the black sheep bandit book I think it would be great if you interviewed online entrepreneurs and discussed the different methods or business models that can be used to generate location independent income off the internet.

    The Black Sheep dating/pickup stuff is great too but it seems you have pretty much covered it in your books and video products.

  2. Great podcast wisdom as ever Tom so thank you for that. My questions for the new book would be:

    -how has hustling changed your personality?
    -do you still battle depression and dark days?
    -how do you deal with those who shame you for your way of life?
    -what films and books inspired you to be a nomad?
    -how have you kept it all going for so long when others have quit?
    -what secret hustling destinations can you tell us?!!

  3. Great podcast Tom.
    My question is what the hell do you do if you see a girl you want to approach but she’s on the wrong side of the road?
    That and headphones are the 2 practical barriers that I find really difficult when I go out (free) solo. With your military approach I think there is scope for a video on angles of approach/advanced stops and dealing with headphones. In London all hottie wear them, especially on commutes. Thanks!

    1. On the topic of headphones I always mime with my hands for her to take her headphones out and then say something accusatory e.g. “sorry to interrupt you listening to your Justin Bieber/Jonas Brothers, …” – basically someone that nobody wants to admit they listen to (not that there’s anything wrong with them though 😉 ).

      Usually gets a laugh and the set off to a playful start.

  4. How do you feel about former pickup instructors marrying and having kids? Isn’t it hypocritical and the opposite of what a Black Sheep is all about? Seems they have learnt nothing about non monogamy.

  5. I would like it if you could a chapter about financing the whole lifestyle. Minimum income needed, things that are necessary, things are classed as luxuries etc.

  6. Great podcast as always Tom. I’m actually listening to this just before heading to the Belgrade airport. This has been my first trip here and I enjoyed a few days of solo daygame. Results were mixed but I’ve enjoyed the challenge and experience, in part inspired by you.

    I’m 44 and have been divorced and gaming for 5 years. Things have been going well and improving, but always looking to improve more. Questions for your new book:

    – Longevity. So many guys do game for a while to drop out and get a girlfriend / wife / have kids. You seem to be one of the few devoted to long term game and freedom. How do you maintain the longevity?
    – What do you see as the trade-offs between constantly switching cities like you mentioned on the podcast vs picking a city and gaming within that? Why have you chosen so much movement compared to most others in the game?
    – how do you see the black sheep lifestyle evolving for different phases of a man’s life? 20’s vs 30’s vs 40’s vs 50’s and beyond.
    – what are your thoughts on having a larger mission in life, beyond girls? In my experience the guys who can maintain freedom long term are focused on larger goals, whatever that it. If the top priority is women you will never sustain.

    Happy to be a sounding board if you want one, t-shirt or no

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