Harem Hustle #8: Air Traffic Control

Adding lots of new leads to your daygame funnel means learning how to manage them effectively and efficiently in order to get them out on dates and seal the deal.

Regular pinging of these leads is a given, but so too is the pinging of girls you’re already sleeping with. How much or how little you text is girl-dependent. Follow the general text rules about mirroring if you’re unsure.

For each girl in your harem you’ll figure out if she’s a morning or evening texter. Does she write paragraphs or single lines? Do photo pings or audio pings work better? Which emoticons does she use and how much? 

Even though you’re sleeping with her, you’ve still got to keep that tension on the line: messaging 1/3 less than her, taking 1/3 longer to reply, maintaining the flirtatiousness and mystery. Over text and you’ll become her monogamous boyfriend (or, even worse, her gay friend). Under text and she may drop off the radar.

If you’ve only got one girl on the go then that’s not a harem or a plate, that’s a girlfriend. You’re automatically in scarcity which is going to lead to neediness and poor frame.

A harem hustler is like an air traffic controller in a war room, keeping an eagle eye on the progression of his leads. I spend about an hour in the morning over breakfast and an hour in the evening over dinner monitoring and pinging my leads. Which ones need more attention, which ones need less? How far along are they? What is the frame at play? 

My WhatsApp chats this morning


Spinning lots of plates in a harem gives you an abundance mindset. You’re less reactive, you’re no longer over-pulling. This then manifests in your outer game behaviours which each girl picks up on. Why doesn’t he text more? Why isn’t he chasing? Who else is he texting? 

If any one plate falls off the radar then you’re not overly upset. She might well boomerang back in the future but if she doesn’t it’s no big deal. The air traffic control mindset is anti-fragile in that you don’t need to mate guard or grieve if this girl or that goes off the map.

Some readers will think that all this talk of spinning plates is cynical and cold-hearted. Why not find The One Special Girl, settle down and stop all this nonsense? A much easier life!

Well realise that girls are far better air traffic controllers than you’ll ever be. It’s hard to emphasise how good she is at vetting leads and spinning plates thanks to the volume of traffic coming at her from WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, Tinder and more.

Don’t believe me and think your shy sweet girlfriend-to-be is different? Then have a look at her DMs and inbox. Watch girls in cafes or on the subway and see how lightening fast they are at tapping away or deleting. That’s not a criticism. If you had so many leads to filter and manage then you’d be a pragmatic master of texting too.

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