Erect, cocked and ready to fire ma’am
Yesterday’s new notch here in Russia is worth writing up because of the symbolism involved. Lots of learning points too with a weak ‘Maybe’ girl giving mixed signals that had to be decoded.
I stopped this girl a few weeks ago towards the end of April in a new part of the city. Tired of my usual daygame route I’d taken the metro out a few stops to look for other hotspots. It ended up being a failed mission with lots of walking around and a poor concentration of girls. I was now tired and hungry. Before getting back on the metro I told myself I had to get one proper lead.
This girl was hurrying towards the station. Petite, brunette, blue eyes like a Siberian husky. She spoke zero English so the rushed set was done with single words and hand gestures. I got the number but it felt very flaky.
But texting was surprisingly solid. She was quick to reply, we took it in turns using Google Translate to write in Russian or English and she seemed keen to meet. I was off to the UK and then Helsinki for a couple of weeks so put her on the back burner with occasional pinging.
Back in Russia she flaked on an arranged date once but a few days later I managed to get her out for an after-work coffee (she’d told me over text she didn’t drink). Just like the texting it was weirdly on as we sat next to each other in the coffee shop. She was giving the big eyes, touching me first and floppy when I touched her back. The whole date was done on Google Translate using our phones.
It felt so strangely on so quickly that I decided to try for a bounce home (even though she’d said she only had an hour). I suggested a walk and ten minutes later we miraculously strolled right past my apartment door. She agreed to come up while I “got my jacket” but sat on a stool in the corner of the kitchen and told me she wanted to walk back to the metro soon.
Russia being Russia, I didn’t want to crash the car by going too fast. We headed back out and she insisted on giving me a personal walking tour of the historical sights (which I pretended to know nothing about). We acted like a teenage couple, giggling at silly things and me picking her up and twirling her around like a honeymoon…
After a loop of the main sights I walked her back to the metro and gave her a quick kiss on the lips goodbye. It felt solid for the next time.
What seemed like a good lead then unravelled over the next week or so. She went rather cold over messages and would reply “maybe” to my date suggestions. I managed to set up an evening date but she flaked a few hours before. In a huff I went out to do a daygame session to lift my spirits and happened to stumble upon her and her female friend on the main street. They both had beers in their hands. Sheepishly she greeted me and I made sure to banter with her friend rather than give her attention. After a few minutes I made my excuses and left.
With other leads to follow I’d given up on this girl, she seemed like a time waster. It all went quiet. Until yesterday. 9th May, “Victory Day” in Russia with a big celebration to commemorate the surrender of Nazi Germany in 1945.
Despite being a huge holiday, not a good day for daygame. Closed off streets, families everywhere, military parades and police controlling the crowds. I made the most of the good weather by enjoying the spectacle and taking photos.
Late afternoon I headed home to take a break and try to set up a date over text for the evening (two girls had already flaked that day because of the family celebrations).
Out of nowhere the girl from this story messaged to ask if I was in the centre and up for meeting. I sighed when I read the message. Should I put my gear on again, head out and meet her if it was just going to be another coffee-to-nowhere? With no other plans I said fuck it and decided to meet her. I quickly tidied the apartment, put a condom in my wallet and headed down to the meeting point.
She texted again saying she was 15 minutes late and that she was meeting friends later for the fireworks. Fuck. Not looking good. I decided to do a Hail Mary and use the “Supermarket Sweep” trick from Street Hustle. This involves going to the nearest supermarket and buying a few beers in a bag which you bring with you to the date to cut out the need for a bar.
There she was at the meeting point wearing a slim black dress, black tights and all smiles. Using Google Translate she explained she’d been watching the parade with friends and then drinking beers in the park (so the whole “I don’t drink” thing which girls say often isn’t true). Pointing to her watch she explained she had exactly one hour before going back to her friends.
Pull the trigger Tom. No time for date venues or multiple bounces. I walked her straight back to my apartment which was 10 minutes away, pointing to the shopping bag and saying we’d “put this in my house.” She happily followed and came straight up like on the last date.
This time she came in, took off her shoes, sat on the bed and turned on the TV without me saying anything. Happy days I thought as I cracked open a beer and handed it to her.
We hugged, then kissed, but she kept sitting bolt upright and checking her phone every two minutes. I’d put it back on the bedside table and resume the escalating. The kissing got heavier and I put her hand on my crotch. “Not today” she wrote in Google Translate. “It is Victory Day. Serious occasion. We cannot.”
Cockblocked by a Russian military anniversary. Bollocks. I rolled off went back to drinking my beer and watching the TV. On the clock I could see we had 30 minutes left before she said she was meeting friends. My roll off worked and she snuggled back into me, pressing herself up to me. We kissed some more. “Next time” she wrote on her phone. “You fast man!”
The kissing got heavier. I put her hand down my jeans and put my hand under her tights. She moaned. “Tom, prezervativ?” she asked. Thank god I knew that meant “condom” in Russian.
Clothes off. Condom from wallet and deep deep satisfaction all round. 20 minutes later we were hurriedly getting changed again and walking out into the cold night air so she could meet her friends and I could go and photograph the firework display.
A Victory Day ending with a bang which I won’t forget.