She’s Just Not That Into You

Beth cums, just not with you 😉


At least a quarter of guys that I speak to on coaching calls ask the same question…. How do I get this one particular girl who’s not like all the rest?

From scarcity of options they’re displaying needy behaviour towards one particular girl they’ve been fixated on for a while. Usually she texted back and forth a few times after he got the number and then went cold.

What happened? What could I text her to get her out? What’s a special message to send her? 

If you lack an abundance of leads then this will inevitably happen. You’ve not internalised the fact that there are Yes, Maybe and No girls. Game is played on the Maybe girls but you’ve got to be able to recognise when a girl just isn’t in the mix to be seduced.

One of my favourite pickup quotes is from an OG of Game Jon Sinn: “Your job is to get her to a decision, not to a yes.” You can’t close every sale, you can’t win every hand. Know when to take the opportunity and when to walk away from a dead-end prospect.

What does a No girl look like practically over texts? Zoom out and see which girls turn down your date requests. I’ll usually try twice (with the requests spaced out and pinging in between) and after that delete.

Her polite ways of telling you she’s just not that into you include…

“Awww, I’m working loads and I’ve got to study for exams”

“My sister’s sick so I’m staying home with her”

“I’ve got a bit of a fever and it’s raining outside sorry”

“I’d love to but I have to help my mum with chores”

When she uses phrases like “we’ll see” or “maybe” then they also mean “no.” Once again, zoom out. Look at her overall behaviour, not the specific words of her individual message. Too many guys take what she’s saying literally instead of seeing the motives behind it.

And why isn’t she into you? As I explain on coaching calls there are a million reasons why she’s not coming out. She’s already got a few guys she’s sleeping with. She’s just got engaged and is flooded with new love chemicals. Her dog just died. She’s moving to Timbuktu. More importantly none of these should concern you. Delete and move on.

It’s always better to collect new leads rather than chase old ones, as classic sales speak will tell you. For a daygamer this means hitting the streets, filling up your contacts again and letting the memory of that “one special girl” fade from your mind.

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For more on why girls flake then watch this:

One thought on “She’s Just Not That Into You”

  1. Hi @Tom,

    One thing: I have often problems to consistently doing my sessions due to bad weather in northern germany. And now its hot like hell.
    Do you have an advice?
    Greetings to the master

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