The Siren’s Song

“She’s The One! Different from all the rest! The missing thing in my life that will make me whole. I can finally quit this Game nonsense and settle down!”¬†

We like to think of ourselves as rational creatures but if that’s the case then why do so many men cash in their personal and financial freedoms for a hot girl based on a sudden emotional pull? Affection Addiction is the answer, that craving of oxytocin in our lives which does powerful things to our minds and bodies. Oxytocin is the siren’s song to draw you closer to the rocks of monogamy.

The selective pressure of evolution has made it so. To raise a child successfully a male temporarily pair-bonds with a female for 2-3 years during that first period critical to an infant’s survival.

To get a male to stick around and “settle” for a few years means lowering his drive to roam and pursue other females. How? As soon as a man has a child his testosterone levels drop off steeply. This drop continues the more the father is involved in child care.

Like mermaids lulling sailors towards the jagged shore with their sweet songs, consider what freedoms you’re abandoning when you next obsess about one particular girl. What price is to be paid for an impulsive emotional decision? Will your ship survive the impact?

 

Shipwreck solutions:

  • “One is too close to none.” Play the field, keep your options open. Go out and get leads. Date multiple girls
  • Get your oxytocin from other relationships – friends, family, ex girlfriends
  • Beware of emotional decision making. Let things settle before making a decision with your dick rather than your mind.¬†

 

Below The Belt Podcast

Get a copy of the new book here

September Daygame Meetups and Book Signing:

Sat 22nd, Dublin, 7pm, O’Neill’s, 2 Suffolk St

Sun 23rd, Manchester, 7pm, O’Neill’s, The Printworks

Mon 24th, Edinburgh, 7pm, Malones, 242 Morrison St

Tue 25th, Birmingham, 7pm, O’Neill’s, Broad St

Wed 26th, Cardiff, 7pm, O’Neill’s, St Mary’s St

Thu 27th, London, 7pm, O’Neill’s, China Town

 

Below The Belt Book Release

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to announce that my new book “Below The Belt: Secret Society Seductions” is now available to buy as a 331 page paperback. ¬£15, prints and ships worldwide.¬†

New naughty lay reports, filthy fuck-ups, burn outs and the biology behind non-monogamous encounters from across the world, documenting the ‘dark side’ of the player lifestyle:

below the belt tom torero book index

* The publisher Lulu is giving a 10% discount across all their printed books until the 13th September using the promo code LULU10

Black Sheep Award #5: Mission Aims

Mr T from the UK will be the fifth Black Sheep Award recipient and this is his mission outline for Autumn:

A little bit about me:

I would describe myself as a nerdy guy, not generally very good with girls. I’m 21, I work full-time and currently live in a small town. Did my first direct cold approach in May 2018 and things started to get going when I started to do two-hour ten-set sessions.

I went on holiday to Paris on my own for three nights in early August. I did not intend to daygame, but was feeling the vibes, so started approaching. I ended up getting an instant date which was cool. This experience made me want to go on a daygame pilgrimage abroad in the future.

I am still in the beginner stages of daygame having done 130 approaches in 4 months. This yielded 6 first dates, a make out, and a very nice sexual experience. With small towns not being ideal for daygame, I plan to travel to London on weekends with the train fares generously subsidised by this award.

Goals:

  • Travel to London once per week for a daygame session.
  • Arrive early in the day, meet with a wing, and do 12+ sets per session.
  • In around 8 weeks, I should have done a further 100 approaches, at which point I will write a review of my results – I want this to be a very candid account of my experiences.

 

Sticking points:

  • Going for the phone number instead of the idate.
  • Not going for the kiss on dates.
  • Other than that, I will record myself (as per Uncle Tom‚Äôs suggestion) to have a cringe filled review of my performances for the train journey home, and identify areas for improvement

Black Sheep Bandit Award: Summary #4

Here’s the final trip report from Mr K who went over to Bulgaria at the end of August to complete his Black Sheep Bandit Award objectives. Mission accomplished ūüėȬ†

“Summary of Sofia –¬†After a sleepless night it was time to make the journey to Manchester airport. Our flights were at 06:25 meaning being at the airport for 4am. I arrived in Sofia red eyed from the lack of sleep and¬†aching from the 3.5 hour flight in the¬†cattle truck. However, I was in good spirits mentally, the new city enthusiasm was running through me. We unpacked and hit the streets, to get our bearings and scope date venues. My wing was straight into set, he spotted a girl and needed no encouragement. I smiled and thought he’s off already!

As he was in set at the top of Vitosha Street, I was waiting and took a picture for one of the other guys back home. Just then I noticed a blonde out of my perhiperal vision making her way to the metro. Autopilot kicked in despite the lack of sleep, dehydration and the sun almost blinding me Рshe was too hot to let pass. I opened, the set was ok considering, closed her on Facebook and the first set in Sofia was under my belt.

 

After a good rest and finding our bearings, the second day was much more promising, I told my wing we should get the numbers in¬†for the¬†first few days and we did. I did not count exactly but I’d estimate the first 4-5 days we hit 60 approaches. We could then relax, do the odd ones here and there whilst working on the leads we had already closed. By the third day I had my first date lined up a cute 19 year old brunette. The date went well, so well I tried to bounce her after the first venue. Got her 10 yards from the apartment and she¬†stopped.

‚Äú‚ÄėNope, I’m not that easy!” This became a theme for the next two nights. Three girls put the brakes on yards from the apartment door.

It was frustrating, but¬†admitedly¬†I’d been pulling the trigger too fast. One of those three girls was super on, she was a girl I’d met¬†on a 35’C baking hot day. I was stood in the shade waiting for my wing to finish his set. He can take¬†an age in set – I’ve¬†given him the nickname ‚ÄėThe World Record Holder’‚Ķ. 7 minutes max man, not 25!

I was waiting for him to finish his marathon set when a cute 7 wearing shades and a black dress meanders past. I step out of the shade and walk in her direction, she sees me and takes out her earphones and looks super receptive to the open. I tried to follow my usual set structure but she interrupted:

“I’m in a rush. Do you want to take my number?”

Erm, why not. And off she went. We made out heavily on the first date and there was a lot of touching, biting and heavy breathing. I knew if she came out again, it would be mine to lose. I just hoped I had not burned the lead by over-escalating too quickly. My wing had got laid too by this point, so the pressure was on.

Luckily, after some hard work through text, she came out for¬†a second date. This time I was far more relaxed, we went to a nice outdoor¬†bar with a band playing, I was¬†enjoying the music whilst occasionally¬†paying her attention¬†between the songs. I asked her¬†if she was an animal, what she would be? She¬†could not think of anything initially. I told her no rush, I’ll be listening to the music until she’s had a good think. She leaned in after about a minute and said “a panther.” I smiled,¬†it was quite apt for her to be fair.

“And you?” she asked.

I leaned into her. ‚ÄúA lion.‚ÄĚ ¬†Her hand was on my leg and I felt her squeeze my thigh.

“They make a good match” she said.

¬†‚ÄúMaybe, we will see‚Ķ‚ÄĚ I replied.

We finished our drinks, I asked for the bill and walked us in the direction of Vitosha Street, our apartment was just around the corner from the main street (she knew this already from the first date). We talked nonsense most of the way. We got to the corner of street near my apartment and she put the brakes on again. She was saying she had an interview in the morning, she should go. She said it in a playful way, that really she wanted to stay but she was feeling guilty of what might be about to happen, typical token LMR.

I smiled and thought here we go again, it took around 20 minutes of back and forwards, pushing, pulling, teasing until she went to kiss me passionately. I remembered from the last time that pretty much after we kissed she departed. So this time I pulled away first.

‚ÄúNo, naughty panther‚ÄĚ I said and offered her my neck to kiss. I then picked her up over my shoulder and carried her to the apartment door. When I put her down she was clearly aroused touching herself over her pink summer dress and moaning.

As I put the key in the apartment door, her phone rang, I thought brilliant this is just my luck. I couldn’t understand a word as she¬†spoke abruptly¬†in Bulgarian to the person on the other end. I understood ‘da’ and ‘chao‘ as she finished the call. She said “I have to go.‚ÄĚ

The door was open and I stepped inside, she was on the outside. I replied “me too” and smiled at her. There was a brief stand off and then she then hurried inside and it was on in the apartment entrance. We still had to get up to my apartment two floors upwards but we both were so turned on we nearly f*cked there in the public hallway.

She sucked my d*ck as I lent over and fingered her. She was soaking. I lifted up her skirt and went to get the condom out of my pocket until I remembered I had not brought one out, shit! I told her they were upstairs in the apartment, took her hand and led the way. The rest looked after itself. She said it was a great experience for her and she thought I was a great seducer. I said I thought she was bloody hard work. She giggled and off she went into the night to get a cab ūüėČ

 

The evening after I had another date lined up with a girl I had met at Paradise Mall a few days previously. This was a refreshing change from the night before. She was a lovely, sweet, soft, very femine beautiful Bulgarian girl. She happily fell into my frame, looking at me starry eyed as she told me how much she loved England. Perfect I thought.

We had a drink at the usual date venue that my wing had named ‘my second home’ overlooking the park. I asked if she had anything planned for tomorrow (Saturday), she replied that she had finished work for the week and had free time. Bingo! We finished our drinks and went for a wander together.

We got some late night ice-cream and she wanted to show me parts of her city I might not have seen. I let her due to not doing it in a frame controlling manner, she just seemed proud to show me. We walked for another 30 minutes with her showing me The Church of St George the oldest building in Sofia, it was all very nice. Then I thought, time to lead and head back towards the apartment. I said let’s go back to the apartment and watch a film on my tablet. She looked at me and asked what else… I said maybe a massage if she was lucky. We both smiled knowingly. I took her hand as we got closer, no resistance.

“But you have to be quiet our neighbours are grumpy,” I said.

She replied “Ok, they must be Bulgarian‚Ķ” and smiled again.

The rest is history, I let her stay the night and saw her again before I left.

We did a bit of gutter game, but found most girls were out in social groups and the clubs were spread out everywhere, not ideal. We broke up the trip by climbing Vitosha Mountain, we went to a shooting range and also went to Rila Monestary. It was a great two weeks, one of the best trips yet. I really liked Sofia personally.¬† I suppose getting laid always gives you optimism about a place. But I think it has everything you need a for a¬†good daygame city.”

How Many Active Daygamers Are There?

How many active daygamers are in your city right now? If you’re out infield putting in the miles then you’ll have a rough idea by seeing the same guys at the same spots over and over.

I’m interested in your estimates. Especially for the big daygame hubs like London, New York, Toronto and Sydney. Leave a comment below with your city and your best guess.

Being a fan of daygame pickup and actually doing it regularly in the real world are two very different things. As you can see from the last month’s analytics for my YouTube channel and the podcast, there’s a big audience for this content but that doesn’t reflect how many actual daygamers there are on the street. Do you even approach bro? ūüėČ

tom torero youtube stats

Over 4.6 million total video views. 26,000 subscribers. 940,000 minutes watched this month. But how many guys go out?

 

tom torero podcast stats

Over 1 million podcast downloads on iTunes (95,000 downloads last month). But who’s hitting the streets?

Is Daygame Pickup Luck Or Skill?

 

This week’s daygame podcast tackles the common criticism of cold approach pickup being “a numbers game” of chance. Using the mathematics of poker I calculate what percentage is an improvable skill and what percentage is down to the daygame gods.

Dealing with the highs and lows of pickup is a key part of the emotional control of a player. In the podcast I also examine why some guys can stay on the ride while others are quick to jump off.

Why 30 Notches Matters

 

An important question from my inbox today:

I’m an 18 year old guy living in Florida and just starting out with pick up. How many separate new lays do you think a guy needs to have to understand girls, get skilled and not fall into monogamy traps too easily?

On my coaching calls I usually tell clients the answer to that question is 30 notches. That means having sex with 30 separate girls from cold approach pickup (daygame or night game) without using your social circle, Tinder, online dating or paying for a bang.

Why 30? 10 is too small a sample size (the male average lifetime lay count is around 7, and that’s with no game knowledge). Over 50 would require a significant amount of approaching over a longer time period. But 30 is both achievable in 2-3 years (the time it takes to learn cold approach) and enough to show you the true nature of women.

Guys with low notch counts often suffer from:

  • Oneitis / neediness / clinginess due to scarcity of options
  • Settling too soon, giving up pickup after an early notch¬†
  • Being easily hustled by provider-seeking females¬†
  • Purity Fantasy (“Not All Women Are Like That”) from low sample size
  • Game scepticism because of a lack of real-world reference experiences infield
  • Too much pickup theory as a buffer to making approaching a habit¬†
  • Anger / frustration / jealousy (“Why aren’t they sleeping with me!”)

It’s a realistic goal for a PUA to sleep with one new girl a month from going out and cold approaching regularly. So that’s 12 new notches a year, and over 30 after doing around 3 years of Game infield. Whatever your age, 3 years to get this part of your life sorted is not much at all. I started in my late twenties, so the sender of the email (aged 18) is a decade ahead of me.

After 30 bangs you’ll walk around with sexual swagger. Girls will see the confidence in your smirk and twinkling eyes. You’ll no longer obsess about any one girl or see females as innocent goddesses to be pedestalised. Those 30 bangs are your membership card into the Secret Society.