Daygame Diaries 2010-2018

A proud stash of early contact details, 2010

 

Filming the Daygame Blueprint, London, 2011

 

A worn out pair of daygame boots, 2011

 

Rainy Baltics daygame with Rami, Riga, 2012

 

Andy, Jon, myself, Martin & Yad, London 2012

 

Teaching a London bootcamp with Jon Matrix, 2012

 

Giving a seminar in Olso, Norway 2012

The daygame house on Great Cumberland Place, 2012

 

Infield filming for Date Against The Machine,  2012

 

New York filming trip with Martin, 2013

 

Filming The Girlfriend Sequence seminar, London 2013

 

Munich bootcamp teaching with Sam Django, 2013

 

Filming a pilot episode for a TV dating show, London 2013

 

Grand Canyon trip with Dave Diggler & Jon Matrix, 2013

 

Behind the camera on a porn shoot with Dave Digger, Essex 2013

 

Meeting Barcelona daygamers, 2014

 

Giving a seminar in Lisbon, 2014

 

Filming Badass Buddha, London 2014

 

Chilly Prague daygame with a student, 2015

 

Start of the World Tour, London 2015

 

Getting tipsy with Alex Forrest, London 2015

 

Warsaw hustling with Hank Moody, 2015

 

Double date with Rami in Colombia, 2016

 

LA to Vegas drive with Craig Cassidy, 2016

 

Hustle On World Tour filming, Sydney 2017

 

Teaching in Moscow with Mystery & Beckster, 2018

 

For more archived daygame photos go to my Instagram page

Beginner Daygame Questions

How do I get started with daygame? What is the basic structure? How I get over approach anxiety? What do I say next? How can I learn to flirt?

 

Once I’ve got her number what do I text her? How can I get her out on a date? My texting is terrible, how can I improve it? Why did she flake?

Tom Torero Beginners Guide To Daygame Free PDF to download

 

What dating structure should I use? Where should I take her? How many dates should I go on? How can I make the date exciting rather than boring?

 

Do looks matter? Do I need to be rich to get girls? Am I too short / old / bald? What are women attracted to?

Torero Seminar Tickets

* SOLD OUT *

WHEN: Saturday 15th Dec, 9am – 4pm

WHERE: Central London, near Leicester Square 

COST: £30 (includes seminar, lunch and snacks)

Tickets are now on sale for my forthcoming “Dirty Tricks” daygame seminar in London. It’s a full day event with a 5-hour seminar, lunch (from the venue menu) and snacks included.

The seminar contents will be 100% outer game techniques, with over 100 new dirty daygame and dating strategies. No inner game waffle or theoretical filler, it will all be practical, actionable, first-hand techniques. It’s aimed at intermediate daygamers and above who have already internalised the basic daygame, texting and dating models.

There are only [0] tickets available because of the intimate venue size. To book send me an email with the title “Seminar Ticket” to tom at tomtorero dot com and I’ll get back to you about availability & payment.

* SOLD OUT *

 

Black Sheep Award: Report 5

The first of the two Autumnal Black Sheep Award reports is in. This one’s from Mr T, a 21 year old English lad who requested the grant to be able to travel back and forth to London from his small town to learn daygame.

“Hopefully this report should give guys motivation as well as realistic expectations. Context: I’m 21 and live in a small town 1h by train from London. Prior to these sessions I had done 131 approaches over 4 months.

 

Sat 15th Sept – 5 Approaches – 2 Contacts (1 Reply) – 1 Date (Kissed)

Met with my wing, Mr A, but only did 5 sets. I had a date with a tall (slightly taller than me and I’m 5’11) 20-year-old South Korean student scheduled that evening from a previous daygame session. Due to a lack of planning date venues, we ended up going to an overpriced pub. Sat in good seats in an isolated area (that Mr A showed me shortly before the date, which worked very nicely) and had dinner. I initially sat opposite her but managed to get next to her buy showing her some photos on my phone which was a good move. I ended up paying the expensive bill as I didn’t want to seem hesitant. She was thankful that I paid. I said “Don’t worry you can buy me a drink later on”. She did buy me a drink in the next venue, but she ended up drinking it because I didn’t like the beer she chose. I did some physical escalation which she was not very receptive to. It didn’t help that the second venue was bright and full of people. I went for the kiss to end the date which she just accepted but it wasn’t sexual. Lessons:

  • Plan the date venues – cheap, good atmosphere
  • Don’t eat on the date or at least split the bill if it’s expensive
  • Escalate more – go for the kiss earlier in the date
  • Don’t block her in – let her sit on the outside  
  • Don’t let the girl choose your drink if you’re a weak pussy like me

 

Sun 23rd Sept – 4 Approaches – 0 Contacts

I decided to try out some small town daygame. The environment was completely different to London, much less anonymity. There was a lack of solo girls which made it hard to build social momentum. Spotlight Effect was much stronger, you feel like you can’t do a front stop without the whole town seeing. When with a wing you can talk before and after the set to build good vibes, so you don’t really feel the rejections. I had to push through a lot of anxiety just to get those 4 approaches in. I think I’ll stick to London for now. The highlight was nervously chatting up a cashier in a virtually empty WHSmith’s.

 

Thurs 27th Sept – 17 Approaches – 4 Contacts (2 Replies)

Today was a very enjoyable day of game. The weather was ideal, sunny but cool. Mr A and I explored some new areas and experimented with doing two sets together. I met a 21-year old French girl who I ended up setting up a date with (see 7th Oct). Managed to get 17 approaches in, all in time for the Tom Torero meetup that evening. The highlight was some terrifically awful stacking in Chinatown: ‘What I noticed about you is your red dress… it reminded me of… roses’. I knew it was terrible but laughed it off.

 

Sun 30th Sept – 14 Approaches – 3 Contacts (1 Reply)

Met up with a different wing, Mr M, who wanted to do Piccadilly Circus/Leicester square. I wasn’t enjoying the packed environment and got a lot of polite blowouts. As Mr M left, he told me to do some more approaches on my way back to the train station, which I did, and they were more successful. The key lesson from today was: if you don’t feel like running around the manic streets trying to do front stops, then just chat to someone on a park bench. Just do what you feel like.

 

Sun 7th Oct – 12 Approaches – 2 Contacts (2 Replies)

Did some solo game. It’s good to go without a wing sometimes to develop that self-reliance to push yourself and create your own good state. Had a date setup (with the French girl from 27th Sept) today which flaked. Then met an Italian girl who agreed to meet for drinks later that evening, but she flaked as well. On my way back to the train station, decided to do one last approach for good measure which went very well.

“You’re always one approach away from success”. You never know when the next number/date/lay will come from. Just got to keep going. The flakes today didn’t really phase me, so I guess I’ve gotten used to it and learned to just be cool with whatever happens. I think this is a fundamental skill that game teaches you. Especially daygame, as you are not relying on any external things to get the girl. No alcohol, money, status, internet, pounding music and dark venues, or introductions from friends. Just yourself.

 

Sat 13th Oct – 1 Date – 1 Approach – 1 Contact (1 Reply) – 1 Instant Date (Make Out)

Today was my most progressive day. First time I’ve gone on two dates in one day. First time I’ve gone for the kiss when I wasn’t sure if she liked me and consequently first time I’ve gone for the kiss and gotten rejected.

Date with Italian girl:

I had set up a date with the Italian girl (who previously flaked) who I’d initially met the previous session. We met at midday, went to a café, walked through parks, standard date stuff. She wasn’t very talkative. Managed to get her to open a bit by asking about what kind of guys she liked and her childhood while sitting next to her, drinking juice in Victoria Tower Gardens. By this point I had already been escalating with limited results: kissed her on the cheek a couple of times, tried to hold her hand but she rejected it. ‘I can’t, sorry’ she’d said… By this point I knew that it wasn’t really ‘on’ but I knew I had to just push through, or this would be another failed date like my previous one on the 15th Sept. I went for it and she turned away. Even though she turned away it still felt good. I felt masculine, like I had some power. I even ended up going for the kiss a couple more times throughout the rest of the date but to no avail.

 

Idate with 21-yr old Chinese student

After the date I met up with Mr M but had to abandon him on the first approach – I just felt the energy of this 21-year-old Chinese student and had to go with it for the i-date. I was already warmed up from the previous date and the vibes were amazing. She was walking around London by herself as a tourist. ‘You can be my tour guide around London’ she said… jackpot. Later, I went for the kiss and she rejected it. ‘Asians don’t like kissing in public, do they?’. ‘No, but I do’. I don’t think you’d find a greener light if you were sitting on a grassy field in Greenland watching traffic lights upon which all three lights are permanently green… I try for the kiss a few more times and eventually we make out… Then I started talking about how I’m into music, guitar, and singing. I got her to listen to a recording of me singing on headphones from my phone, then started making out with her while she was listening to it. She had to go and meet her friends, so I didn’t try to take things any further (never done any bathroom/public pull before but perhaps I should’ve tried to push myself). Regardless, this encounter led to the happy conclusion at the end of this report.

 

Sun 21th Oct – 13 Approaches – 6 Contacts (4 Replies) – 1 Instant Date

6 contact details, most I’ve ever gotten in one day… Number closed a 19-year-old Spanish contemporary dance student on my first approach. My second approach was a 31-year-old South Korean business woman; just walked with her through Green Park for about 15 minutes before getting her email address (and we went on a date on 27th Oct). The day was off to a great start before I met up with a new wing, Mr C. On my seventh approach, had an instant date with a shy, feminine, 17-year-old Ukrainian. We went for a walk through St. James Park, went to a café. Kissed her on the cheek whilst in the café (although I really should have gone for the lips). Tried to kiss her at the end but she wasn’t having it.

Ukranian i-date

After the i-date I met back up with Mr C and got some more leads. Lessons:

  • Go for the kiss earlier in the date, get comfortable with going for the kiss and getting rejected.
  • It’s good to know that as a 21-year old you can get good reactions from the full age spectrum of females, aged 17 to 31.

 

Sat 27th Oct – 8 Approaches – 5 Contacts (1 Reply) – 1 Instant Date – 1 Date (Make Out)

This day could only be described as fucking freezing compared to every other day I’ve done game – I was not prepared – need to work on my winter style. Met up with Mr A.

Idate with 19 yr-old Chinese student:

I approached a first-year Chinese student. I was pleased with my conversational game. She was showing signs of attraction but not very comfortable with meeting a stranger. After 5 minutes I tried to bounce her to a café across the road, but she resisted. I essentially carried on talking to her as if it didn’t happen. Then a few minutes later I tried again, and she came with me. After finishing my drink while sitting opposite her, I went to the toilet, then sat beside her. I escalated with hands and hair, but I thought going for a kiss was a long shot. She wasn’t even comfortable hugging me to say goodbye. Never heard from her again, but I’m pleased that I managed to persuade her to go on the idate.

Date with 31 yr-old Korean business women:

We went to a bar and sat opposite each other. I bought the first round, she bought the second, but we didn’t change venues because it was fucking freezing. Towards the end of the date she said, ‘You’re getting drunk, you should head home’ (I was a tad drunk). I replied, ‘It’s funny because you’re old enough to be my mum and it’s like you’re looking after for me’.  I used my signature move of getting her to listen to recordings of me singing. It was a great excuse to sit next to her and for us to put our head close together so that we can both listen on my over-ear headphones. I used a recording of me singing ‘Hey Jude’ over a karaoke backing track. I liked my singing performance so was also pleased that she was happy to listen to it. There was the awkward tension of ‘how long are we listening to this for?’. I called it out by saying that we had to listen all the way towards the end where there is a high-pitched scream that I did and was very pleased with. After the recording finished, I went for the kiss and we made out briefly. I went to kiss her as we said goodbye, but I think this is where I went wrong because she didn’t seem to want to. I ended up almost forcing it and maybe that’s why I never heard from her again. Getting the make out was an achievement regardless.

 

Sun 4th Nov – 9 approaches – 2 Contacts (1 reply)

Had another date setup with the French girl (from 27th Sept) for today but she flaked again… Went in Han Solo today. Had to push myself to do the approaches but it wasn’t too challenging (only because of the weekly momentum I’ve been building). I would’ve liked to have done more sets. My 8th approach was very different from the usual. I was waiting at the traffic lights when everyone walked across without waiting for the lights, except for me and this girl. I opened by saying ‘We are the sensible ones waiting for the lights to change while everyone else risks their lives’ with a cheeky smile of course. It ended up being a nice long set where we walked along the Thames… Or at least I thought it was nice until she, instead of accepting my friend request, blocked me on Facebook. Oh well, life goes on brah….

 

Sat 10th Nov – 2 approaches – 1 Contacts (1 reply) – 1 Date

Manged to get two cheeky sets in before the date. The girl requested this date take place in Soho as she lived there which sounded promising. I think I’m becoming more relaxed with dating. After a couple of hours, it started raining and I used this as an excuse: ‘Since it’s raining how about we head to your place and watch a film?’ It almost happened but her roommate had a bunch of people over. It’s rare that I try to pull so that’s a step in the right direction.

 

Sat 11th Nov – 1 Date

Same sticking points – not verbally and physically escalating enough, not leading her to an isolated location. I didn’t go for the kiss and I fucking regret it.

This was my 14th daygame first date and out of all of these I’ve only ever gone on a second date once so far. Over the whole time I’ve been doing this, girls continue to surprise me. The girls I thought were really attracted kept falling off the radar and the girls who I thought I’d never hear from again end up going on dates with me. I thought I’d never hear from the girl yesterday, but on my way home she messaged me. Maybe going for the pull increases her attraction because she respects that you are going for what you want?

 

Fri 16th Nov – Got laid!

Somehow, I managed to convince the Chinese girl from 13th October to stay with me in my flat over the weekend in my small town (over 200 miles from where she lives). +1

 

Conclusion

As an ambitious 21-year old lad fresh out of my third-year of university, and with no girls in my life, I decided to start doing daygame cold approach pickup. 216 approaches, and almost exactly 6 months later, I had sex with a girl I met through daygame. Along the way I racked up 56 contact details, 14 first dates and kissed 5 girls. It’s been an epic journey with extreme highs and lows but learning to enjoy the process is the way to go.

As you can tell from reading this, between mid-September and mid-October, nothing was happening in my dating life. No dates whatsoever. But I kept showing up, every week, to get the approaches in. Then things started to pick up. If you want results with your daygame and dating life, you must show up, and keep showing up, week after week, month after month, or even day after day if you can, and year after year if you desire.”

Daygame Datasheet Guide

I’ve been asked by a few guys on email this week about how to keep a daygame data sheet. I never thought about formalising a rulebook for such things but there’s confusion about how daygamers are tracking their results so I thought I’d explain how I do it:

 

  • Keep a datasheet for a solid amount of approaches. It might be for a week of daygame (30 approaches), a 5-day intensive mission (50 approaches) or a mission over a few weeks (100 approaches)

 

  • Keep it simple. These are the key metrics to count: number of approaches, number of contacts, number of 1st dates and number of lays. Make a note of all these tallies on your phone during the data collection. 

 

  • An instant blowout counts as an approach. You went up to a girl with the purpose of daygaming her and she rejected you, however quickly

 

  • “Contact” is a mobile number or an add to an app (WhatsApp, Line, Viber etc). An email or a Facebook add is a sub-par “contact” but can be included. I don’t count Instagram adds as a close. 

 

  • An instant date off of the approach is not counted as a “1st date,” just an extension of the initial pickup

 

  • You can further analyse the number of 2nd, 3rd, 4th dates you went on with the same girl but it doesn’t change the success of your lay count

 

  • A lay means p-in-v. This does not include blow jobs, hand jobs or anal (you could add a separate column for this)

 

  • After the datasheet has been completed you can then calculate the four key percentages: approach-to-contact, contact-to-date, date-to-lay and, most significantly of all, approach-to-lay

 

 

Health Warning

If you’re a beginner then don’t keep or stress over daygame datasheets. For the first couple of hundred approaches you’ll be getting over approach anxiety and learning the daygame model.

Don’t spam approach and just do mass volume for the sake of it. Focus on improving your daygame skills and making the approaches solid.

If you’re intermediate or advanced then just do a dataset a few times a year in your city to keep tabs on progress. I only keep them on intensive travelling daygame missions to see how different cities compare.

You’re looking for long term trends, not one off datasheets for a few sessions. The idea of such datasheets is not to make daygame a competitive sport but to improve your own results over time.

Pickup is an art, not a science, so don’t get too bogged down in it all and let it turn your playful vibe into robotic nerdiness.

Standing Up For Pickup

A PUA in 2018

It’s sad that more and more guys are shying away from calling themselves “pickup artists” and replacing the original purpose of the community with “settling down” into monogamy.

Bachelors are “reforming” into mushy “relationship strategists.” Players are becoming conservative and traditional, “doing the right thing” and sliding into idealism. Sexual adventures have been replaced by self help seminars.

Pickup artistry is about picking up girls. Sexual freedoms. Non-monogamous fun. Not moralising or shaming.

Look in the mirror and have the courage to say to yourself “I’m a pickup artist. I like having lots of casual sex with hot girls.” That’s a significant first step that was taken for granted when the community began.