The Girl As Your Mirror

 

If you slow down and process the feedback that social interactions keep giving you then you’ll be able to fix errors and get more results. Learn to decode the messages that girls keep reflecting back at you to change your daygame and dating.

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To be in Podcast Episode 200 send me an mp3 audio of you (under 60 seconds) with the following three things:

  • Name (or pseudonym)
  • Location
  • One big thing you’ve learned from the ‘daygame mirror’

Email it to tom at tomtorero dot com with the subject “Podcast 200”

Reframe 101

 

There are two classic ways to overcome someone trying to ‘take the frame’ in an interaction and pass that particular ‘shit test’…

  1. Ignore. Be non-reactive. Change topic. Move on
  2. Agree & Amplify (‘Cocky Funny’). Mock. Tease. Playfully accuse

For this article I’ll just focus on the second method – learning to reframe things using the cocky funny approach. 

Remember that these are just examples. Make them your own. And delivery (voice tonality, facial expressions plus an underlying playfulness) is essential. She has to know it’s just flirting. Any sign of being reactive or sour means you’ve lost the frame.

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“Do you stop and talk to every girl on the street?”

You’re number 113 today, I need a break

or

Only the cute ones

 

“How old are you?!”

Too old for you

or

87 but I’ve had plastic surgery

 

“Sorry I have a boyfriend”

I’ve also got a boyfriend, but he’s in prison

or

Aww, cute, I’ve got a dog

 

“Is that a pick-up line?”

If you want it to be

or

Let me try another one…Do you come from Jamaica? Because you’re Ja-making me crazy 😉

 

“Why aren’t you married?”

I’m looking for a Sugar Mommy so I can put my feet up

or

I’ve got 6 wives, but I take the day off on Sundays

 

“How tall are you?”

Above average…where it counts 

 

“Buy me a drink”

You’ve got to earn it….name the five oceans of the world…

or

Does that work on other guys?!

 

“You just want to get laid”

Slow down, you’ve got a filthy mind, I’m not that easy

 

“You’re sexist”

I think the word you’re looking for is sexiest 

 

“Your shirt / shoes / tie / hat sucks”

Stop checking me out, I’m not just a piece of meat! 

 

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Extra resources from the video archive:

 

Back Into The Swing Of Things

“Dear Uncle Tom,

It feels a little strange calling you uncle considering I’m 53 now. You feel more like a little brother that outlived and out gamed his big brother. So as brotherly love goes, I feel very fortunate for my own sake that I discovered you and so proud of what you have achieved.

I’m going to write you a bit of a long story now because I feel that you like a long story. I hope it’s a good story. Who knows, maybe you will want to read it on your podcast 200. I’d be thrilled.

I discovered you on March 15, 2019 where you were mentioned in an online pick up course I was doing. Since then, I’ve been listening to your podcasts, sometimes in marathon sessions in my spare time and while travelling. I think you hooked me instantly. You’re quite a seducer Tom.

For the past 2 months I have been practicing your teachings with small successes. I’m afraid I can’t offer any lay reports yet. Not even close. Due to my crippling AA, I’ve only managed 15 sets, 10 number closes, and 2 dates with 2 girls. Both were 30 yrs old and in the 7 to 8 range. I do however try to be more charming and seductive with all my interactions now. It just improves my vibe overall and I feel happier doing it.

I’m currently on a flight from Seoul to my home in XXXX and instead of trying to sleep, I felt compelled to write to you. I work on small to large construction projects worldwide for weeks or months at a time, so I get plenty of time for daygame. Since January I’ve been working in China and Korea. I spent the last week in XXXX where I did 8 approaches and got 1 date. I was at the beach and I felt a pretty good vibe.

Then it all came crashing down and last night I had a bit of a mental meltdown. I was in XXXXX where I researched was a good place to meet hot girls. Well indeed there were a lot of hotties. I suffered 3 blowouts in a row and it rattled me hard. I spent the next 2 hours walking around in a depressed daze with the weasels spinning in my head. I wanted to do more approaches, but I didn’t. I was crushed. 

This however, is not a story of defeat and despair Tom. I know that these rejections are just what I need to grow. I’ve never put my ego on the line like this before and it is fucking painful. I’ve been the classic Mr Nice Guy all my life. From a very early age in Catholic school, I remember studying stories of Jesus and how he loved and helped so many people and was so kind to everyone. I bought into this load of crap and told myself that I want to be just like that. In the process I denied myself of my natural emotions and behaviour and suppressed my desires and internalised so much shame.

When I was a teenager, girls would give me huge IOI’s. Peers would tell me how much  certain girls liked me but I almost always choked from the pressure. I had a few GF’s as a teenager but nothing stuck. I realise now, that I was just too nice. 

After high school, I moved out and shortly after, met my first wife. We had 2 kids together but split up when I was 30. I woke up one day and decided that I could not live with this  crazy woman any longer.

Shortly after that I met wife 2. This lasted until I was 50 and as far as marriage goes, it was actually pretty good. We had some fun sexual adventures. Mostly swinging, and a few random hook ups with her friends. Then  we decided to open our marriage and I managed to seduce a hot 33 yr old yoga body French Canadian. I got serious one-itis for this girl and my wife felt rejected and left me. 

Now this girl lives with me. She is very different from my last wife. When you say the girl is your mirror, well this one sure as fuck is that. She has called me out on all my needy behaviors and has indirectly brought me to this point. 

Now I’m on my way home to face the next phase of my life. I’ve taken the red pill Tom and like you said, if I don’t turn it into action, it will destroy me. So my plan is to have this girl as  part of a harem but if that doesn’t work then I will have to shoot the puppy. I cannot be monogamous any longer.

The thought of being single again after 33 yrs is a little scary, but actually not as scary as jumping in front of a hot girl. I’m a pretty fit and handsome guy Tom. I have early and current reference of hot girls being attracted to me, so I know I can climb this daygame mountain and I’m proud of myself for just taking some baby steps for now.

Thank you Tom for all that you have done for us men who lost our way. You are a beacon in the fog and the most influential man I have ever known or read. You have shown me a new path for my life. You are helping me remember who I really am. A confident, successful, masculine, and most importantly, an unapologetically sexual man.

Cheers mate,

Mr Freeme”

IOI Daygame

 

What about approaching girls during the day who’ve already given you a subtle invitational glance or smile? Doesn’t that take all the pain out of having to learn cold approach pickup?

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Video resources mentioned in the podcast:

 

 

Losing My Virginity Through Daygame

True romance in Marks & Spencer

“Hi Tom,

Sit back and grab some Earl Grey, this is a long one

My name is XXX, I’m 18 and last night I lost my virginity through daygame.

Despite being a decent looking guy I was never particularly good with girls (mainly due to being a fat nerd when I was younger), I had a couple of girls who were into me when I was about 14 but I was too scared to pull the trigger and ask them out. Before daygame I had never even kissed a girl

I started doing pickup in August in XXXX with my older brother who introduced me to game and I did my first 60ish sets there. Then I started taking trips to London to bash out the approaches in volume. I decided London was the place to be and I’ve now permanently moved to London on my own to get good at pickup, no more mummy cooking and washing for me.

As everyone loves to hear, before the accomplishment of my first lay there was a lot of pain and suffering. My first near miss wasn’t from daygame but was a customer from work (I work in a shop) who added me on facebook out of the blue. I went on three dates, went back to hers and was about to fuck her but I had erectile dysfunction (because of years of too much porn) and couldn’t do the deed.

My second near miss was from a daygame approach. I met a girl in Covent Garden while out with a wing and she came out on the date. I did the two venue model, bounced her to my Airbnb and got a blowjob, the next morning I was about to fuck her and again the ED happened. After that I learned my lesson; I haven’t watched porn since and have invested in some viagra.

I met last nights girl in the basement of M&S around lunchtime on Wednesday while out with my brother. She came out on a date the next day, and I ran my regular dating routines (mostly copied from you) over two drinks at the hippodrome casino. Then I went for the long bounce back to my home in zone 5 and she was happy to oblige.

I let her play my guitar and then put on the seductive lighting, and you can tell what happened next. It wasn’t vanilla missionary sex like I imagine most guy’s first times go; it was rough fucking in a few positions, dirty talk, spanking, pulling hair, finger in her mouth and asshole, light choking…

I’d like to say a massive thanks for all the great content, and I hope this has been an enjoyable read. Good luck with your hareem hustle

All the best,

XXX”

My 10 Favourite Push-Pull Pickup Lines

The Ted Bundy approach

These are my favourite cocky-funny lines I use to build attraction with girls during my daygame and dating. Notice how they all combine a compliment (pull) with a tease (push). That’s the secret of good flirting.

It’s vital that the delivery is light and playful. You need a twinkle in your eye and a cheeky smirk as you say them so she knows it’s just banter.

 

You’re so cute, it’s sickening

You smell nice, like my grandma

I like you, you’re fun, but don’t get a big head

You’re cool, despite what everyone else says

Cute kitten on the outside, wild tiger on the inside

You’re really interesting. My first impression was wrong

That’s cool, you get permission to cook me dinner

You’re very attractive. Just not my type

That’s pretty cool…for a girl

Cute but feisty, I like it

 

For over 200 more pickup lines to build your flirting skills then get hold of my book “How To Flirt With Girls.” 

How To Flirt With Girls Tom Torero Cover

Daygame City Guide: Los Angeles

 

Population: 4 million (plus 7 million tourists per year)

Daygame Season: Year-round

Daygame Hotspots:

LA is a sprawling city and the daygame is in pockets. Get a hire car or use Uber to move between them.

  • Santa Monica 3rd St Promenade 
  • UCLA campus 
  • West Hollywood (Hollywood Blvd, Sunset, Melrose)
  • The Grove (big upscale mall)
  • Bonus areas: Venice, Abbot Kinney Blvd, USC, any Whole Foods

 

Example Date Venues:

  • Ye Olde King’s Head (British pub), 116 Santa Monica Blvd
  • Bar Chloe (chilled lounge bar), 1449 2nd St, Santa Monica
  • Adults Only (retro kink cocktail bar), 7065 1/2 Sunset Blvd

 

Where To Stay:

I used to stay in Santa Monica but on my last visit I got an AirBnB in West Hollywood which was surprisingly good for pedestrian game.

 

Daygame Los Angeles Videos:

 

 

Read about my Los Angeles daygame adventures in this book.

Daygame City Guide: Tokyo

 

Population: 9.2 million

Daygame Season: Year-round (but March – November pleasant)

Daygame Hotspots:

Tokyo is a vast city with the daygame concentrated in four distinct areas. Take the metro between them.

  • Shinjuku – World’s busiest train station. Do a loop of it on the shopping streets 
  • Shibuya – Hit the shopping streets near the crossing. Go into 109 mall
  • Roppongi – Nightlife area, more tourists, but shopping streets solid for game
  • Ginza – Upmarket shopping area, posher girls 
  • Bonus areas: Harijuku, train/metro station tunnels, Takashimaya Times Square mall 

 

Example Date Venues:

  • From Dusk Till Dawn (rock/metal bar), Kabukicho, 2 Chome-27-2
  • Dug Jazz Cafe/Bar (a Murakami bar with cocktails), 3 Chome-15-12
  • Albatros (cosy eclectic cocktail bar), 1 Chome-2-11

Be ready to use a Starbucks if the girl is timid and doesn’t drink

 

Where To Stay:

Choose one of those four daygame areas. I get an AirBnB near Shinjuku Station. Be warned that it’s an expensive city.

 

Daygame Japan Videos:

 

Read about my Japanese daygame adventures in this book.