I have just finished FaceTiming an old lead of mine who lives over in Mexico and thought I would share part of this story with you after listening to your latest podcast.
Rewind 3 years almost to spring 2015. I am walking down near Victoria train station in London and spot a petite cute little blonde girl strolling along with her suitcase. Fuck it, I jogged down and stopped her and immediately she had the biggest smile on her face. She was a Mexican girl living and studying in Ireland but visiting a friend in London. Unfortunately she was on her way to the airport but I managed to get a Facebook close and left with a little grin on my face.
After a couple of days she gave me her WhatsApp and after a couple weeks of cheeky texts & flirting she arranged to fly back to London to spend the weekend with me. Sitting at Victoria Station on the Friday night she was due to meet me, waiting for the Gatwick express to pull in, I still had it in my head that she wouldn’t come and it would most probably be a flake.
5, 10, 20 minutes went by and eventually there she was standing in front of me. We got the tube back to where I live in Zone 2 and went straight to a few local bars for drinks. It wasn’t long before we was dancing and having fun and then kissing. As the night drew to a close we headed back to mine for the lay. We spent the weekend out and about in London before she caught her flight (and hopefully nothing else) back home to Ireland on the Sunday. She has not been back since but after speaking on FaceTime tonight she is planning her next visit to see me. Three years later she still calls me by her nickname for me when we first met, her “cheeky boy.”
I’ve come a long way on my daygame journey and it is by no means complete or anywhere near the end, but through the highs and lows this will always be a memory that will stick with me forever.
This is a perfect example of what is possible and one of the many crazy things that can happen through daygame. I would never of imagined that a stranger I met on the street would fly back and spend the weekend with me two weeks later.
I heard your podcast and thought I would send a story your way. I hope you get a kick out of this story, which isn’t amazing material, but it does have some interesting qualities of a possible “Red Letter Day” girl I had the pleasure of encountering.
This story takes place early June 2017 (almost one month before I went to your 2017 boot camp in NYC) and it happened in the small town I currently live in called XXXXX in the USA. The town has lots of microbreweries and culture that attracts many hippies and tourists during the summer who will go for drunk adventure sex making night game and ecosystem game somewhat effective, however the town has an estimated population of less than 100,000 local people and is a piss poor area for practicing daygame. Despite the odds, I attempted daygame anyway.
So I went out on a Saturday to do one of my downtown sessions hoping to find at least 5 sets in two hours. I came across a cute blonde girl all alone laying on a blanket in the middle of a huge patch of grass at the downtown park. This girl seemed friendly and chatty and I saw her starting a conversation with a guy who seemed like he wasn’t “with” her but was just sitting in her vicinity. Almost like he was annoyed by her, he ended up leaving and I figured this was the perfect opportunity to go in. I didn’t have to do much work, which was good because before your boot camp I wasn’t following the model well at all. I went in with a direct opener and she seemed to hook immediately with that kind of “chill dreamy” vibe you were mentioning. When I realized the conversation was going well, I sat down with her on her blanket while giving her a false time constraint inspired by Mystery Method. As we were chatting and sitting down, certain weird things about her and her situation became clear to me:
This girl was a 21-year-old college student.
She was from NYC and far away from home.
She got separated from her friend/hostel mate during a hiking trip and was lounging around, not doing a damn thing to try and find her.
Her phone was dead, but she didn’t care about getting it charged.
She didn’t even know where she was or how to get back to her hostel.
All she had was a blanket and her backpacking stuff.
She had nothing better to do.
She was wearing a white Philadelphia t-shirt, normal hiking shoes, red socks, Aviators, really short shorts, no tattoos, and her blonde hair was braided in pigtails. She did not look like one of the usual hippies I see in this town who come here to drink up the craft beer and art culture wearing dreads, tattoos, and piercings. This girl looked like a “normal” girl who all of a sudden decided to go rebellious.
She sounded like she wasn’t fond of her hometown situation and was breaking away.
Something about this girl was different, which I teased her about by playfully accusing her of being on drugs, which she denied. My game was worse back then, but after talking with her for a while, I decided to try and make something happen. Hoping that an SDL may be possible, I bounced her to my favorite date venue. This bar had everything. All the staff and regulars knew me (Social Proof), It was a rooftop bar and sunset time was close at hand, It had girl and guy drinks, It had couches, and It had one secluded disabled toilet. As we walked there, light frame tests began. She asked if I pick-up tourist girls and take them to bars all the time, which I replied with something similar to the “when I see something I like…life is too short” line.
We arrived at the bar and had a blast. We met some new people and drank a few drinks. She paid for most of her drinks which I admired. After that, I lead her to the most secluded couch in the bar, where I started the Questions Game, verbal escalation, and light keno eventually leading up to the kiss. Our conversations started getting deeper and more sexual, we talked about our sexual fantasies. After some fractionation, the kissing eventually turned into heavy make out on the couch and that started to turn into heavy groping on the couch. If it were anymore heated then calling it a Public Display of Affection would be an understatement. Things were happening fast and I was having to make the decision to pull the trigger or not. Since I lived 15 munites driving distance from downtown, and I was scared she might decline the offer to drive her there, I decided the disabled toilet was my only shot at the quickest possible sex. Then I wondered if it might be safer to make it a Same Day De-lay and have her meet me later in the evening after reuniting with her hostel friend. I decided to take her to the toilet and go full steam instead. I think it was Beckster who said: “If you don’t crash the car, you’ll never know how fast you can go.”
I said, “Let’s find a more secluded spot”. She complied and I lead her by the hand towards the hallway. The hallway towards the disabled toilet was baren and dimly lit. She didn’t know where I was taking her but that didn’t stop us from making out more along the way. We got right to the disabled toilet entrance where I had her pinned to the wall, she had her hand on my crotch and my hand was doing something similar. She started asking if we should be worried someone will see us. Trying to make it look like the disabled toilet wasn’t part of my plan all along, I said: “It’ll be ok, I just now had an idea”. I immediately took her right into the disabled toilet and locked the door. I somehow managed to get the clothes off pretty quickly and before I knew it we were playing with each other. I fingered her clit and she jerked me off. I got her to get on her knees and suck my dick. It was truly terrific watching a cute looking girl blow me after literally meeting her only 2 or 3 hours ago. This moment was a crowning achievement for me and a true testament to the power of game.
Regrettably, after this point, things started to unravel. She was light, so I hoisted her up onto the sink in a comfortable seated position. Just as I was about to go into my pants pocket to find the condom and get down to business, the LMR attacked with ferocity. She started questioning the whole situation and started saying “I feel like you have done this exact thing before.” She was right, that bar and the disabled toilet has gotten me lays before and I guess, to her, I seemed like I had practice with this. Regrettably, the LMR felt too powerful for me to continue on, so I had to say “It’s ok, I understand” and we left the disabled toilet behind. We left the bar and went to get some food. The vibe was different after that. She started worrying about her hostel friend and asked if I could show her back to her hostel, which I did. Before leaving her, I tried one last time for a Same Day De-lay asking her to meet me later tonight after she gets settled. Buyers remorse likely kicked in because that meet up never happened. After rolling off for a while, I sent her a ping or two, but long story short, she flaked.
I’m sure there are many micro mistakes I probably made that resulted in this near miss, but the main thing I took away from this is that I moved things way too quickly and caused LMR to come back with a vengeance. I think I did crash the car, but the good news is, I’ve gained a better idea of how fast I can go because of it. I’ve been crashing more cars since then and still am now, but with each opportunity to fail I learn something new.
That’s my story. I hope this holds some good material for you pertaining to “Red Letter Day” girls. I am no expert, but I think this encounter may be one of those. I found it fascinating how this girl had deliberately, or maybe even subconsciously, isolated herself from “the pack” to explore and got herself “lost” in a town far away from home. Then she allows an unknown young man to take her on an adventure leading to the possibility of sex. Or maybe she was just crazy lol.
Either way, thank you for putting out this content Tom. Keep grabbing life by the horns.
Thanks to Johannes, a former student from Helsinki for this near-miss Same Day Lay story which happened in May 2016 in Budapest, Hungary. Daygamers who hit the streets regularly will empathise with the Princess Behaviour and frame battles, the dangers of over-escalation without isolation and the torture of blue balls with a girl who’s masterful at cock teasing:
6th May, 2016 Budapest, Hungary
Today I enjoyed daygaming in the university district of Budapest. After a while I moved on to the centre and to the main tourist street (Vaci). I spotted a sporty girl that was swinging her tight ass like a proper salsa dancer. She was walking fast but I decided stop her. She responded right away positively when I went into describing her salsa dancer walk.
First interesting thing happened when after 1-2 minutes she asked for my Facebook but I ignored it and continued talking. Soon after she continued leading and invited me to sit with her by the fountain. I thought for a second about the frame thing but concluded that as long as she leads to right direction, I can let her lead a bit.
Her English wasn’t great but as happens many times, it did improve while she talked more and more. She wasn’t shy at all to use it. She was physical and flirty from the get go. I love interactions where girl is full of feminine energy and talks a lot. I just needed to lead conversation to the right direction, giving a playful stoic masculine polarity to her femininity.
I suggested having beers on the bank of Danube and she happily complied. The next surprise was that she insisted to pay for both our drinks in the store. She had told me about her life and that her family was very rich. We sat on a bench and she continued telling me about her life like daddy issues and how important her work was to her. She had some pride about her independent lifestyle and also important things she cared about, which I appreciated.
It started to rain a bit so I started move her closer to my apartment and we went for drinks to a bar nearby. We went to the back of the bar and sat on sofas. First she didn’t accept me sitting next to her, so we sat opposite each other and continued talking about life in general and about her ex-boyfriends. How she was caring for animals in the shelters. She showed plenty of sexy model shoot pictures of her but I remained unaffected. I kept saying that I wanted her to be a normal girl, and that she needed to be real with me.
The conversation was getting naturally more sexual and there was sexual tension. Finally, I moved next to her and we looked at more of her pictures. She pushed herself into me. Eventually she put her legs on top of mine and kissed me on the neck. Soon after we started kissing. She was coming onto me pretty hard. I knew that I needed to cool things down. She was pushing for physical escalation and I was trying to build rapport and not be carried away with make outs. At this point her hands were on my crotch. She was very concerned if there was cameras in the bar and she turned off the lights in the back part of the bar. She stroked my cock and my hands were all over her also rubbing her clit.
I knew that I needed to move the interaction but she was completely opposed to coming to my place. Same time she was talking dirty but asking if I think Hungarian girls are easy. Finally, I said unambiguously “let’s go” and she followed. Again she insisted that she wanted to pay the whole bill. I took her to the metro station but she refused to use it. So I decided to keep walking with talking about the destination. My place was at this point 20 minutes’ walk away. After some walking we sat down in a church park and I fingered her to orgasm. She realized that we were in the wrong side of the city. I told her that I would walk her to her place but first I needed to use the toilet and grab some fruit at my place.
When we were walking to my home street she refused to walk down the street as her current fuckbuddy was living on the street. Finally, she complied and went to my place. I went to the toilet, put some music on and started to eat my mandarin very slowly. We started kissing, she grabbed me and started to suck my dick. All the time she was warm and cold. One moment it was on and other moment off, I remained calm, gave her space and then went for it again. Suddenly, she pulled down her pants and bend over my kitchen table. Then she suddenly stopped me and said that we couldn’t do this and put her pants up. To be honest my dick was also at this point tired of all the hours of cock teasing that had happened. I met her 3 pm and I started to walk her home at 10 pm.
Throughout the evening she asked about other girls I been seeing and I told her openly. She said that it was good for guys to have several girls so they won’t be needy but for girls it’s better to be only with one guy. She insisted that we change contact details, both numbers and Facebook. I had no expectations about this as she seemed very impulsive. I tried to build a deep connection and she did cry a bit when I called out that she tried to protect herself by being strong. We will see if the connection built was strong enough that we will see each other again.
I lost a lot of frame battles but I still managed to lead the overall interaction and provide the masculine opposite to her strong femininity. One example of a frame battle was that we were walking next to the road and I was by the road side as it’s normal for guys to do. When she noticed that she demanded to change, I explained the custom her. But she said that women should be on the road side and dogs or bitches on the other side. I changed the position a few times but she became so angry that I decided that it wasn’t worth it. Lose the battle to win the war. If we meet again, I do have to work to keep my frame strong for details like this.
A longtime wing, friend and fellow coach Craig Cassidy sent me this lay report to add to the growing collection of titillating tales on the blog. He’s just returned from Prague where he was teaching a 1-on-1 residential for me. If you’d like infield daygame coaching with him in London or Europe then drop me an email (email@example.com) to find out more.
“It was the third day of my residential in Prague.
The student and I were sat in a cafe on Na Prikope, drinking a beer and reflecting on the previous night’s antics in Roxy nightclub. I’d been on a date to nowhere when I received a text from the student saying he’d hit the clubs so I sacked my date off and joined him for a short while before bouncing a nerdy English student home for a grotty Same Night Lay.
The student had stayed out and ended up bouncing a hooker home unbeknownst to him and whilst we were laughing about that fact, out of the corner of my eye I spotted a cute blonde girl saunter past wearing a large puffy red coat. My spider senses starting tingling.
I immediately put my beer down and gave chase, much to the amusement of my student and the rest of the customers on nearby tables who watched on as I stopped the girl and launched into my usual daygame patter.
It turned out the girl was a student living in Prague but was from Kyrgyzstan and lit up when I teased her about knowing Borat and how she must have grown up in a tipi with a pet goat. She was studying business but had a passion for classical music and was outwardly sweet and innocent which may have caused some daygamers to assume she was a “good girl.” However, I noted the fact she’d left a predominantly Muslim country at a young age to move to Prague on her own to embrace a Western lifestyle and that she had a couple of fairly large tattoos which gave me confidence that she may be open to a nomadic lover.
After taking her number, I returned to my student and debriefed him on what happened and told him that as I only had a few days left in the city, I had to act fast in trying to set up the date. I sent my initial text a few hours after meeting and by the end of the day we’d agreed to meet the next evening for a coffee.
I’d suggested a drink but she told me that she had to work a night shift so she couldn’t drink alcohol. I decided that on the first date I’d play it safe and run a two date model. Most of last year I really pushed for first date lays and whilst I ended up with a high lay count at the end of the year, I dread to think about the amount of leads I burned by pushing too fast.
We met at 7pm outside New Yorker, the famous meeting place on the main daygame street in Prague and we went to a nearby coffee shop after a brief walk through the beautiful Old Town Square. The date itself was fairly relaxed, I mainly focused on creating rapport and getting to know each other but making sure I didn’t fall too much into Nice Guy mode.
She turned out to be a really cool girl and was great fun to be around which kind of threw me off my seducer vibe a bit and I ended up weaselling myself out of attempting the kiss at the end of the date. I was pretty annoyed at myself but was confident that she liked me enough to come out on a second date, knowing the next day was my last day in the city.
Luckily the daygame gods were on my side and she didn’t have work the next night and agreed to meet me for drinks this time.
Again we met at New Yorker but I’d had to push the date back a bit later as I’d got caught listening to a student on an Instant Date. She didn’t seem to mind and said that she’d just spend the extra hour singing and dancing while she got ready (a good sign).
She was already waiting for me at New Yorker when I got there and this time she’d dressed up (another good sign). I’d researched the two venues I was going to take her to ahead of time, the second being a 5 minute walk from the apartment. My plan was two venues, two drinks, then bounce, the classic date model.
By the second venue the vibe was definitely on but she seemed a bit shy, I’d still not kissed her but the bubble was building and I felt like it was the right time to bounce her home. On the way back to the apartment she threw a curve ball saying that she was hungry and wanted to show me this cool restaurant. I decided to roll with it knowing I had all night but just to make sure I tried to kiss her on the street to see where I was at. She accepted the kiss and so I went with her to the restaurant, which turned out to be this awesome place that served beers to your table via a mini-railway system. She’d obviously put some thought into showing me that place and it was a nice touch.
I didn’t eat but sipped on my beer as she had her food. After she finished eating we were sat playing with each others hands, her wearing one of my rings and just enjoying each others company. I knew it was time to go and suggested we go back to mine for another drink. She paid the bill and we left for my apartment which was only a short walk away.
Back at the apartment I made sure not to jump on her immediately and we led on the bed watching YouTube videos of some of my past trips and her showing me some of the classical music she liked. In between videos we would passionately makeout but she wouldn’t let me escalate any further. I could sense she was probably a bit shy rather than a game player so continued in classic two steps forward, one back fashion.
By about 4am I was shattered. I knew it wasn’t going to happen right then so suggested we got to bed and get some rest. She agreed and took off her clothes, borrowing one of my t-shirts to sleep in. An hour later at around 5am, I woke up super horny and started kissing her neck and letting my hands wander.
This time she fully reciprocated and was dripping wet, kissing and biting my neck. She took off her underwear and we proceeded to have loud, passionate sex which I was surprised to hear that my student managed to sleep through! We fell asleep immediately after and a few short hours later I had to get up and check out of the apartment.
Kissing her goodbye drew to a close another crazy week of teaching daygame in a foreign city and although personally I had a great week, I was glad that my student got to see how learning the skill of daygame can result in you having some epic adventures with some awesome girls.”
Just listened to your latest podcast so thought I would fire this across as you’ve asked for some other Same Day Lay (SDL) reports, wouldn’t say it’s anything ‘crazy’ but it’s definitely a testament to daygame being ‘like riding a bike’.
Around March last year I’d just moved to London to start my new job and had recently broken up with my ex (who I’d also met through daygame) and it was the perfect catalyst for getting back into daygame. Years before I’d been hitting the streets hard but around academic studies during my final year at university (2015-16) I decided to go the ‘relationship-route’ so that I could focus on what I needed to do at the time. Once I’d graduated and the relationship had ended and I was moving to London however, it was the perfect time to dust of my boots and get back out there.
My first session was on a Saturday and all I wanted to do was just get in a single approach, that would be considered victory after around 18 months with no development of my daygame skillset. As it turned out, I did around 4 approaches that day after the initial AA from the first approaches makes you realise it’s really not a big deal. So I went home with a couple of numbers from those approaches and that was that.
The second session I did the next day on the Sunday, I headed back out and was ambling down the street as usual, and I noticed walking on the opposite side of the road going the opposite way was an attractive Asian-looking girl (usually my type). I was debating whether to go in for it (AA strikes again), but then just thought the usual ‘fuck it’ and went for it.
After opening her with the usual opener, the first thing I noticed was the dreamy look in her eyes and the intense eye contact she had with me. I can’t remember much of what we talked about but essentially she said that:
– She’d just landed earlier that morning from Singapore
– She was visiting London by herself for the week
– She had just left her hotel to go out and explore the city
Even from being out of the game for as long as I had been, I could see those green flags waving.
I basically said to her that I was free for a few hours before I had to go meet some friends so why don’t we grab a coffee? She was up for it so we went to the nearby Starbucks, got our drinks and just started walking. The whole time in my head though I was thinking that this was an SDL opportunity, but I’d never done one before so it really was an on-the-fly “how the fuck am I going to pull this off?” moment.
The first decision I made was to start walking in the general direction of my flat, as we were about a 25 minute walk and it was feasible without using any transport. It was a nice day so we went to a nearby park on the river (I was in Hammersmith at the time) and just lay on the grass and just kept talking. All the while I’m keeping in mind the end goal, and as a result spiking up the conversation accordingly with the usual ‘looking for tattoos’ (I’ve got a few) and ‘comparing skin tans’ (given that she was from Singapore) physical escalation techniques.
I then suggested that we go to another park (getting ever closer to my flat haha) and to pick up some ciders on the way (telling her that you have to drink cider if you come to England, it’s one of the Queens Golden Rules, etc, etc) so we do that and get some alcohol going in the next park that’s now only 5 minutes walk from mine.
After we’d finished, I said I needed to use the bathroom (which I did) and that I didn’t live too far away so I said lets go to mine quick and she didn’t have any issue with it.
On the walk there I did some last minute verbal bamboozling to really bed things down and to keep her mind occupied, so just started talking about my family and that sort of thing and we went straight into mine.
In the flat, it wasn’t long before I’d whipped out my… guitar and started to teach her how to play, getting her to do the strumming whilst I did the chords, then I just started to slowly touch her and physically escalate and the rest is history really, not any LMR to speak of.
So from approach to lay it was around 2 hours, not the quickest SDL by any means but definitely something I’m proud of given how I had been out of the game for so long and I’d never done one before.
Anyway, keep having a top time in the van! As soon as the spring/summer hits and you really get into a routine with your van life you’re going to be having the absolute time of your life (although I have no doubt you already are). I drove from London to Mongolia and back again after graduating in a Nissan Micra and slept in the car most of the way so I know the freedom it gives you but also how rough it can get (at least you’ve got a bed though!)
In this week’s daygame podcast I’m joined in the van by Mr J who tells a great Same Day Lay story from his recent Street Hustle adventures. We discuss the key signals to look out for when daygaming to know if it’s a “Red Letter Day” for the girl you’ve just approached.
Send me your own such Secret Society daygame lay reports (firstname.lastname@example.org) and I’ll post the best ones on here. If they’re really good I’ll add them to my new book.
I know you get a lot of gushy thank you emails. This is another one I’m afraid.
I had recently emailed you about issues with excessive flaking. Last Saturday it reached a peak, where my vibe was garbage, and my wing called out that I was being “a bit of a fart.”
It was the first time I had to cut my day game session short after only 20 minutes. My vibe / mood or whatever you want to call it was completely fucked.
On Sunday I woke up, had a good breakfast and did a few things I had been putting off for a while. I was in a much better mood by mid afternoon.
I did three approaches and got three numbers within an hour. I texted all three, and all three replied. First time that’s happened in several months.
One of them eventually let me know she had a boyfriend, so that left me with two.
I set up a date with the second girl, a cute german 18yo, on Tuesday. This girl was what I would call “exactly my type.” Small frame, blonde and big green / olive eyes.
We went for one drink and a walk. I managed to bounce her to my place after that. Long story short, she gave me 2 hours of token LMR but I eventually got the lay. It was the first time I managed this after only one venue.
This is the type of girl I’ve always wanted to meet and have this kind of experience with, while truly believing I had missed my chance at 30. I managed to see her a couple more times over the following weekend, which was great.
The third girl, I’ve been on one date with and we kissed at the end. I will be seeing her again for a Day 2 this week, so hoping it goes well 🙂
I had to squeeze out every bit of advice from your content, on texting, verbal/physical escalation, pulling the trigger, and handling LMR. It all came together like clockwork and I’m grateful I stumbled upon your videos just over a year ago.
While there are obviously others that deliver similar content, your videos where the ones that broke it down and simplified to the point where I thought “I can do that”.
Part 2 of my chilly one-man-one-van-no-plan mission from the UK to middle Europe in the converted passion wagon. In this episode I drive through a snowstorm to make it to Poland for a long-game date, before heading north into the Baltics to start my daygame season.
In the next episode I’ll do a van tour and answer related questions, so leave them below.
A lay report from a daygamer called Rob who I coached on Skype a few days ago. He’s been in Vancouver on a daygame mission and sweeping the streets clean of fine young ladies. Below is his trip summary and the lay report itself:
After having done about 500 cold approaches since I arrived in Calgary I decided it was time to expand my comfort zone by going on my first daygame trip. Me and a wing drove to Vancouver on Sunday the 18th of March and planned on staying here for two weeks. I jumped right into it and got an instant date on the first day after only 3 approaches. It nearly lead to a SDL, but unfortunately I was unprepared and didn’t have condoms on me. I was able to collect many numbers over the next couple of days, but all of them were flaking and I didn’t know why.
I really wanted to make the most of this trip and I realised that what I needed most in that moment was some advice from Uncle Tom. I called him on Saturday morning and we spoke for one hour. He made me understand that my numbers were not just flaking because my sets were too short, but mainly because I wasn’t reaching the hook point. Being a consistent closer I would “force the number,” even if the girl hadn’t hooked in the conversation. Not just that, but he also told me that I shouldn’t treat a daygame trip the same way I would treat daygame in my home city. It’s important to use that initial excitement and energy of being in a new city to collect as many solid numbers in the first five days as possible. Too sum it up, I had been to lazy and I needed a kick in the butt from Mr. Torero. The Skype session helped me big time in getting the following lay.
“My trip to Vancouver has been very rewarding so far. I’ve only been here for 7 days and already I’ve had 3 great leads. When me and my wing Mr. R arrived in Vancouver on Sunday my mind was aching to finally get back on the streets again. The winter in Calgary had been harsh, allowing me to mostly only do approaches in malls. For me it’s the wide open spaces, the fresh air and the sun shining down on me that makes street daygame so much more fun.
As soon as I’d dropped off the bags in the AirBnB I left the apartment and walked to the waterfront and it didn’t take me long to notice how much more for traffic there was, compared to Calgary. It took me three approaches to find a sweet pathologist from Texas who was here on a business trip for a couple of days. She wasn’t busy so I invited her for a coffee and treated it as if it was the first venue of a date. I told her that I’d pay for the coffee and that she could buy the beer later. The five verbal and physical escalation steps from Tom Torero have helped me a lot so far when it comes to keeping the conversation from getting too comfortable.
After half an hour we moved to a bar a couple of blocks away where I kept escalating. She said that she liked to dance west coast swing, so I told her to show me how it’s done. She found out that there was a dance meet up happening just a couple of blocks away. Before we went there though, she had to first show me the basic dance steps and what better place was there to do that than in her hotel room. Of course at this point I was thinking that things could go down right now. In the room we put on some music and danced around for about 10 minutes before I went in for the kiss.
She was still a bit uncomfortable so I backed off and said we should go. One block away from the dance venue she stopped me and said: “Look Robin, I haven’t been completely honest with you. I’m married.” At first I was panicking a little bit because I thought that she didn’t want to hook up anymore, but then I realised that she just wanted to be discrete. Some of the people at the dance venue knew that she was married and if I had been affectionate there, she would have looked like a slut. She was basically telling me “Yeah, I’m down to fuck, but let’s just keep it under the radar.”
We spent about an hour there before heading back too her room. Unfortunately I didn’t have condoms on me because in my wildest dreams I hadn’t thought that I would be getting a lay on my first day in Vancouver. It didn’t cross my mind to just quickly pop into a drug store or gas station. So the lay didn’t happen, but at least I’ve learned how to give a girl an amazing time in bed without fucking her.
Otherwise I’ve been on two dates with a 33 year old Brazilian Biologist who I also stopped on the street. We made out on the first date but I couldn’t get her back to my place. On the second date I was at least able to get her back to our apartment, but she would not let me go further than making out on the bed. Today I will be trying my luck with her once again.
On Friday I was kind of lazy and spent most of the day looking at cheesy tourist attractions. I did do 2 approaches of which one resulted in a solid number from a 28 year old Dutch Psychologist. One of my biggest sticking points were too short sets, so I really made sure that I stayed in there for at least 7 minutes. I closed strong and she said that she’d really like to see me again – massive green light.
Once again she was all dressed in black, a good thing to tease her on. Her complete outfit was very tight, giving me a glimpse of her athletic body. She was holding deep eye contact right from the beginning and I could feel how attracted she was to me. I noticed how fluid my dating model has become.
I used to do Tom’s five verbal escalation steps in the first venue and the five physical steps in the second venue, but now I’ve learned to adjust it to our conversation and the topics we are talking about. For example, she was already making it very easy for me to touch her hands at the cafe, so I took that opportunity.
As we left the cafe, she asked where we were going and I told her I had booked a flight to Paris. The second venue was an extremely crowded cocktail bar just across the street from the cafe. We couldn’t find our own table so we joined a small group at their table. Luckily they were mostly playing pool, so we had it to ourselves, more or less. We spoke about all kinds of different things and I made sure to move in closer while touching her hands, her back and her hair more often. I specifically didn’t go in for the kiss there to not burst the bubble and lose the tension.
Eventually we left the bar and I kissed her as soon as we were out of the door. No resistance. She asked where we were going and I told her that I’d show her the pictures of the pizza oven I had built (this has become my standard excuse, no questions have ever been asked) on my laptop.
I took my time in the apartment, but it was very straightforward. We both knew what was going to happen and what we wanted. And thank goodness, this time I was prepared. We made out on the couch and then I pulled her into the bedroom where we watched some Netflix and finally had sex. She was slow and sensual, just the way I like it. Later on I asked her when she had known that she would sleep with me. She said from the moment I had stopped her on the street. Don’t underestimate the power of the front stop! She pointed to a picture on the wall showing the Eiffel tower and said: “Looks like you took me to Paris after all”