Love Of The Game

“If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same…”  Kipling

After almost a decade infield doing daygame I review all the ways I still have a “love of the Game” despite the roller-coaster ride that is cold approach pickup.

  1. Trust The Data
  2. Set Pieces
  3. Goes Well Or It’s A Funny Story
  4. Fishing Not Catching
  5. Win-Win
  6. Avoid Victimhood
  7. Cut Out Negative Wings
  8. Off Season
  9. Break Habits
  10. Amused Mastery 

Moroccan Daygame Lay Report

Same Day Lay Report: Moroccan Daygame

Another splendid lay report from Mr M in Toulouse, this time a Same Day Lay with a Moroccan girl making use of the full Torero toolkit. Félicitations Mr M, keep the mojo magic cumming 😉 

“Lately I haven’t been daygaming properly, mainly because I am not consistant enough, and usually not feeling like it, and most importantly approaching about only 4 or 5 girls each outing (or rather mini-outing). But today, after work, I arrived home, took a shower and went to hit the streets.

I got out at around 7.30pm to hustle, did some sets (good sets in my estimation) but closed only two girls out of six, which was slightly under what I hoped for. Anyways, as I’m gaming, it turned dark and I thought to change it from the usual daygame situation (closing with the number) to gutter game by asking for an i-date first. By that time, I was just aiming to finish my sets and go home.

I walked for about a half an hour without an approach, and then I saw this petite, short-haired hot girl walking very fast. I didn’t want to approach immediately because she went inside an alley and it was narrow enough to block her path if went in front of her, and I thought it better not to approach from behind with a slight touch on the shoulder either. I followed her ’till the end of the alley which wasn’t long, as odd as that might sound. The moment she emerged into the main street I did the front stop. She looked a bit confused, I went on delivering my piece. Her legs were shifting, but I carried on nevertheless, throwing in some teases. She smiled and hooked.

The approach went fine from then, I was rocking with my body a bit, slightly closing the distance between us. The girl now was comfortable and talking. I  then said “Oh interesting, but one thing, what kind of person are you, a wine girl or a beer girl?.” She said a wine girl, and I said “I see, well, you can take your glass of wine, I’ll order my beer, there is a bar around the corner…fancy a drink?” She smiled and said “Why not, but I can’t stay long, I have to go home in about half an hour.”  I said that I couldn’t stay long either, tomorrow I had work in the morning. By this time, I got to know that she was Moroccan and that she spoke Darija (the Moroccan language), so we switched from French to Darija. A very helpful switch.

We went to this bar nearby (though it was far from the corner I pointed at), and sat facing each other. The first five minutes were simple interview-like conversation, but after that I started teasing and challenging, I disagreed with her on some things, I tried to push her buttons by playful teases, about how men love long hair to pull seeing she just cut it short today. She was pretending to be cross and annoyed, but secretly loved it. Smoking and drinking as we were, I went quiet, and then she started asking me several questions, qualifying herself to me by explaining how much she liked art, about being in business school etc. I said that I liked that about her and that there was nothing more frustrating than a pretty face with nothing to say.

And then I restarted the process of teasing. This time she was giggling a lot, so I did the hand trick: “You laugh a lot I see. Let’s play a game, give me your hand, do not laugh for ten seconds.” She gave me her hand I started counting as follows (“1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,8,8…”), she got the joke and laughed, but in the meantime our eyes were locked on each other, no smiles no laughs, just pure silent deep eye contact.

Later I went to the bathroom, ordered an Uber and payed the drinks. As we were talking, I said I had to go. The Uber was parked few meters away, so we got up, walked a bit, and I said “I have a half bottle of wine at mine, let’s go and have a glass, otherwise I’ll just throw it away.” As I was saying those words, my hand grabbed the car door handle and opened the door. “Let’s go…” She was like “Wait, what?” but I was already inside the car and left the door open for her to enter. She stood there for a few seconds and then joined me.

She said “Where are we going?”  I said “I live about 10 min away” (the truth is I live at the edge of Toulouse, and that’s no less than 25min). She was like “But I’ll have to go home in a bit.” I said “Look, it’s fine, the Uber that’ll take you from here to my place can also bring you from my place back to here whenever you feel like it”. I forgot to seed the bounce using the piano or a painting I have, but it worked.

We got to mine, I poured what was left of the bottle of wine, put some music on and we kept talking for couple minutes to make her feel comfortable. She said “Listen, I trust you, is it going to be ok?” I called out the worries by saying “Look, I understand this is mildly unusual, I am a stranger, we just met, I’m not going to hurt you, and you can leave whenever you want…”

I pulled the trigger and I failed at first, too bloody fast. We were making out, she paused and said “Wait, wait, wait, I don’t do this” and then swore that this never happened to her, and that still at that very moment nothing made sense, and she didn’t understand how she ended up at my flat.

I did the freeze out, changed the music and I sat by the window smoking and drinking wine. She asked me information about my family and I answered. I told her a bit about myself, my work, my studies and the things I liked. She asked me about my years in Morocco a bit, whether or not I went there often now that I was in Europe, and other personal questions.

She saw a girl’s hair band on the table and asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said “Hmm, let me see, there’s one, two, three… I don’t know, about seven or eight of them I think, I stopped counting at five”. Now that I think of it, I’m not sure whether that remark was the proper thing to say, seeing how she her face showed no sign of either pleasure or displeasure after hearing this.

And then I played some piano, I taught her something, we giggled a bit, then we watched something quickly on YouTube.

Afterwards, standing in the middle of my flat, I pulled her by her hand next to me, looked her in the eyes, and kissed her. She then, gave herself to me, as if melting in my arms, completely passive, only her hands caressing my head and back as I put her on bed, undressing her slowly. She closed her eyes, and they weren’t to be fully opened until we had finished.

After sex I asked her what she thought about the approach, she said she loved the front stop, and after years of being only stared at by guys or whistled at, it was refreshing to be approached straightforwardly in a mature manner.”

Shoot The Puppy – How To End A Relationship

How To End A Relationship

Finishing things cleanly with a girl you’ve been seeing but who is getting clingy is a key player skill. Perhaps you’ve broken some lover rules and she now thinks you’re an exclusive item. Maybe you weren’t honest about it not being a monogamous relationship.

The fact of the matter is that with any fuck buddy, over time the “cuddle” hormone of oxytocin kicks in and things move from pure passion to affection. Lover sex switches to romantic walks and movie nights.

For your sake and hers, you have to pull the trigger. You’re becoming emotional and clingy, she’s wasting her time with false hope of you becoming her provider boyfriend.

Wanting to end things with a girl is one of the most common reasons guys contact me for a Skype call. Things have gotten messy and tangled – they keep splitting up with her and then getting back together. They don’t tell her the truth about their relationship status. Their Game is massively suffering because of a lack of abundance and a spiral into neediness.

This is the advice I give to every guy in this situation: Shoot The Puppy. Be momentarily cruel to be kind. A clean break is the only way. Rip off the band-aid in one fast motion and stop fiddling with the stitches.

  1. Send her a voice message telling her that as much as you like her, you’re not in the right time of your life to have a monogamous relationship. 
  2. Delete her number / Facebook / Instagram. Block across all platforms
  3. Have a no contact rule for at least a year. Let her move on
  4. Don’t sulk or sink into a lonely depression. Get out there (with a wing if needed) to daygame, gather leads, go on dates and have casual fun. Abundance is the only cure for neediness (caused by scarcity). 

Shooting The Puppy is a clean start for you and her. It stings for both of you but for much less time than if you drag it out. She’ll get mad, she’ll try to contact you and talk things through (which is the irony of this method in that her attraction will temporarily go up due to the push away) but because of all the back-up options in her life she’ll move on pretty quickly.

Don’t be like the hopeless romantic Mike in the movie Swingers who wallows in his neediness and is paralysed to move on. As a player you need to get your oxytocin and affection from more sources than just one girl. Listen to one of my favourite podcasts on how this can be done without settling down:

Tony Hustle: A Daygame Legend

 

It’s been a long time comin’ 😉 After six years apart, I finally track down and have beers with my original daygame wing from 2010-2012, Anthony (‘Tony’) Hustle.

If you’ve read my first book Daygame you’ll remember the many mad pick up adventures Tony and I had together in the first few years of the early daygame scene. In this week’s podcast I reminisce with him about those greenhorn days and ask him about his perspective on pickup now.

Watch Anthony back infield on his new Youtube channel:

Older Guy Daygame

 

Limiting beliefs about age and daygame are some of the most common out there. Can I still do cold approach pickup after 30? After 40? After 50? Won’t girls think it’s creepy? Do I need to get married? How is daygame different as an older guy? Is there a cutoff point? 

Today’s podcast covers this topic extensively with the help of three guests, Mr S (50), Mr M (52) and Mr I (48) from around the world.

Older Guy Daygame

Previous podcasts have also explored the topic from other angles:

Daygame For 30+ Guys

Interviewing The “Real Hank Moody”

Fifty Two First Dates

Divided Loyalties

I answered the many questions I get about my own plans for settling down, kids and longterm daygame in this series of three Black Sheep Blog Posts (so please don’t email me the same questions!):

Black Sheep Guide Part 1

Black Sheep Guide Part 2

Black Sheep Guide Part 3

French Daygame Lay Report

French Daygame Lay Report

A daygame lay report I received today in an email from Mr M in Toulouse, France. He’s been hustling infield for eight months and has reached the stage of having more freedom and fun with the fundamentals, as the report demonstrates. Stay horny Mr M, à votre santé 😀 

“After my month off daygame, I started this month differently. It was the first time I started daygaming after our Skype coaching call. So, as you said, instead of shooting in the dark aiming for random lays, I started counting every single approach. I went to this big mall, out of the city, and I did four sets: two flaky numbers and two rejections.

As I am walking to the tram station, I see a girl on the other side of the street. I crossed over to her and I did the front stop. She’d seen me crossing and when I stopped her she was taken aback a bit. She was an 18 years old girl, heading to work.

I did something different that I am trying recently. It consists of delivering the tease first and then the compliment. I know, treading on thin ice. But I try to deliver the tease first with a cheeky smirk and then deliver the compliment as some sort of a passing thought. A strange hypothesis, since on the surface it seems that nothing has changed, but in daygame, as you know, the devil is in the details.

So it goes somewhat like: “Excuse me, hey! I hope your English is good.. I just saw you smiling, you seemed suspiciously happy and relaxed, you look nice by the way.. you were relaxed maybe because of the sun, or maybe the music…”. 

I guess the reason is when you deliver the compliment point blank, you hand her a knife and hope she won’t stab you with it, she knows what you want immediately, it might put her on the defensive instantly and it’ll can be slightly harder to calibrate it. Perhaps what I’m doing is what you would call Indirect-Direct, I don’t know.

Back with the girl, I went on a monologue for about two minutes before she hooked. The approach from then on went nicely. I used my usual teases, couldn’t afford the vacuum seeing she was in a hurry,  so I went for the close.

Texting:

French Daygame Lay Report 1

French Daygame Lay Report 2

French Daygame Lay Report 3

French Daygame Lay Report 4

French Daygame Lay Report 5

 French Daygame Lay Report 6

 

The first venue went well, though her English was limited, she said it was the first time she ever went with a complete stranger on a date.

I gave her a pass to switch between English and French if she felt like it (for I conduct the date either in English, or in French, but it’s not often I use them both). Anyways, I was executing the model on autopilot. The good thing about daygame is when you become familiar with the underlying substrate of the propositions governing the teasing and challenging and from whence they emerge, you can easily generate new ones. And that’s what I’m trying currently.

I then took the girl to this nice and calm lounge bar I found recently. It is in an alley, which makes the bar always quiet, yet not entirely empty. The lamps spreading dim light from the corners, the soft music filling the blanks, and the distant chitchat of which you can catch only fading murmurs render this place an ideal second venue.

As usual, I get the first round, the girl gets the second (only if she ventured to pay). We sat, close to each other, her thigh touching mine, when she giggles our shoulders bounce against each other gently. I did the palm reading, the hands measuring, the rings, the tattoos, the hair, the makeup, instead of nice shoes, I go with eyes, big eyes (a good way to get my face as closer to hers as possible, I use it as a drive by kiss.)

After that, it is time for some Beethoven.. She was into piano, she loves Ludovico Einaudi and expressed how she would love to learn the piano one day. This was her lucky day ;). No time to waste, 45 minutes in the first venue, 40 minutes in the second, I said “Let’s go, I’ll show you the piano.”

I didn’t go for the kiss, I thought better to keep that tension rather than relieve it by kissing. To the metro, to my flat, my dirty love nest. I put on some swing, showed her some moves, her arms on my neck, mine on her waist. As my hands go down, so does my face.

After sex, laying on the bed sweating, I ask “What do you think about your first date with a complete stranger?” She gives me a cheeky look and says “I’m glad I gave you my phone number.”

Approaches: 56

Dates: 3

Lays: 1